Re:Zero Arc 4 Chapter 38 [Caterpillar] (Part 2/2)

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Translator: TranslationChicken

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Editor: TranslationChicken

(Thank you Alex, Aaron, Jason, Axl, Jeffry, Roanz, and Yan for helping me with proofreading and editing in the LiveDraft!! <3)

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ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO TAPPEI NAGATSUKI, THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR OF RE:ZERO, THIS IS A TRANSLATION OF THE FREE JAPANESE WEB NOVEL INTO ENGLISH
JAPANESE WEB NOVEL SOURCE: HTTP://NCODE.SYOSETU.COM/N2267BE/204/

Previous Chapter: https://translationchicken.com/2017/08/01/rezero-arc-4-chapter-38-caterpillar-part-12/

 

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

――After Garfiel left the room, Subaru, alone in his prison, sank deep into the sea of thought.

He could not get the words Garfiel left behind at their parting out of his mind.
In order to clear Subaru’s name, Emilia had rallied herself to challenge the Trials. Perhaps she thought that if the Sanctuary could be liberated, her achievement would be enough to absolve Subaru of his crime.
It was just like Emilia, to not doubt Subaru at all.

[Subaru: But, in that moment, I……]

Despite being overtaken by rage, in the end, Subaru genuinely wanted to strangle Roswaal.
With his hands wrapped around that person’s neck, he had used his tightening grip to seal off his airway, relentlessly building up strength as if to snap his neck, or otherwise suffocate him.

Although he could not move his hands, bound behind his back, Subaru could tell that his fingers were trembling.
Forgetting the passion of that moment, all that remained in his hands was a dark remnant of the heat that nearly took another person’s life. Inside his empty stomach, a sense of nausea began to build.
Even more so, considering the target of that murderous intent was someone close to him.

[Subaru: I just… don’t know anymore……]

Who to trust, what to think, and what to do, none of it made sense anymore.

What was Beatrice’s position? Why did she have a Gospel? And what were those days they spent together?
What was Roswaal thinking? Why would that guy have a completed Gospel? What did he want Subaru to remember? And what was the true meaning of his inexplicable role in all this?
How could he help Emilia pass the Trials? Or rather, was it right to push her towards the Trials in the first place? He couldn’t even begin to answer that question.
What was Garfiel’s intention, and did he really have a Gospel? It will be impossible to defeat Elsa without his help. Yet, with their relationship deteriorating after every Return by Death, how could he get him to the Mansion?
What should he do about Elsa’s attack, should he repel or evacuate? And why was there a difference between the timings of the first and second attacks? Why did that murderer know about the escape passage no one was supposed to know about? Who was Elsa’s employer? What will he have to do to defeat her? Regardless, he could never forgive her.

And why was the Sanctuary created? What was the outline of the remaining Trials, and why did the Trials exist in the first place? What was the goal of Echidona, sleeping in her Tomb, and how can he meet with her again? And, at the end of the last loop, what happened to the depopulated Sanctuary?
In that final moment, what was it that killed and devoured Subaru?

[Subaru: I can’t…… answer… a single one]

Round and round and round, these questions without answers endlessly circled in his head.
With his eyelids painfully bound and his vision completely sealed, deprived of information about the world around him, there was nowhere his questions could turn except inside himself.
His insides packed with nothing but mysteries and doubts, he had come to a deadlock.
What tormented Subaru was not only his unanswered doubts, but also anxiety at the time that he was passing in vain, submerged in these fruitless thoughts.

Since his eyes were covered, he could not say for certain, but Subaru’s feelings told him that most likely a day had already passed since the night he strangled Roswaal.
It was dark, so he was probably confined inside a hidden building in the forest. The chilliness of the room was conspicuous even considering the fact that not the slightest light could slip through.

Compared to the daytime temperatures he had experienced so far, he couldn’t help but notice the drastic temperature-drop here. So perhaps, it would be more constructive to consider that it was already night after sunset. If he followed the assumption that it was night, then it was clear that at least a whole day had passed.

Ever since being summoned to this Parallel World, Natsuki Subaru had sustained a fair number of injuries both light and severe. And his body still carried memories of being healed of wounds of all the various degrees.
So, judging from experience, having half his head crushed and his skull cracked open was clearly supposed to be a fatal wound. The fact that he came out of it alive without Ferris was honestly nothing short of a miracle, which only served to show how skilled Garfiel must be.

Basically, in this world, as long as the person doesn’t die, almost all injuries can be healed, depending on the abilities of the healer. But naturally, the more severe the wound, the heavier the burden it would be to heal them.
Bodily fatigue can only be restored with stamina, and in the same way, Subaru’s recent wounds could not have recovered to such an extent in a matter of a few hours, or even the same night.
More than likely, a night had passed. But even more convincing was the fact that,

[Subaru: I’m… hungry……]

His empty stomach, which hadn’t received anything in all that time he spent sleeping, was aching and groaning endlessly, asserting its existence.

 

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

 

The passage of time and the indistinct hours gradually wore at Subaru’s mind.

He couldn’t tell how much time had passed since then, and his restraints remained unchanged. Just like this, Subaru was left inside the prison room as time went by.

[Subaru: ――――]

He tried counting the seconds to keep track of time inside the void, but after counting for an hour when he felt like he was about to go mad, he finally abandoned the idea.
Besides, what difference would it make at this point, even if he knew the time? After all,

[Subaru: It’s… probably too late……]

Meals had been brought to Subaru six times. If they followed the schedule of once every morning and night, it would mean that three days had already passed. Three days after Subaru woke inside the Tomb―― would make this the fifth day since arriving in the Sanctuary.
Even if he left for the Mansion this morning, he would only barely make it in time for the assumed timing of Elsa’s attack. The moment he passed that point in time, he had already missed the deadline.

In fact, Subaru had made the mistake from the very first moments of this loop.
No amount of regret was enough for allowing himself to be consumed by rage and throwing himself at Roswaal. If he hadn’t lost control of his emotions, he would have been able to confirm far more information from Roswaal, and, above all, his relationship with Garfiel wouldn’t have worsened to the point where he’d be imprisoning him.

The consequence of abandoning himself to that boiling heat of emotion, was this current caterpillar-like state.
He hadn’t done any of the things he was supposed to do, and didn’t even get to see the faces of those he wanted to protect. Instead, he was here in this unsightly form, cowering in fear of the approaching time.
That is, Subaru had already given up on this loop.

[Subaru: ――I really… fucked this up……]

Because of that momentary lapse, he had lost the chance to prevent the tragedy that was about to befall the Mansion. Which, in turn, meant that the survival of the four girls inside the Mansion had become hopeless.
Rem, Petra, Frederica, Beatrice, Subaru was knowingly leaving them to die. After he had just screamed, denouncing Roswaal, for doing the very same thing.

[Subaru: ……Damnit, I. Why didn’t I die?]

He just wanted to die. If the restart point hadn’t changed, if he could really start over again, then Subaru would return to that night and face against his odds once more. Although he would still be stumbling blind, at a loss about where to begin, at least it would be better than this unsightly state. Surely, he could do better than this. He must do better than this.

[Subaru: Otherwise, what’s the point of……]

Was he prepared to accept this resignation, and bite down on his lips and bear witness to the end of this world?

Having judged that saving the Mansion was no longer possible, and that “Death” in this loop was inevitable, Subaru immediately committed suicide and Returned by Death―― was not what happened.
It was certainly the worst possible situation, and awaiting Subaru in this life was only an empty future devoid of meaning. He should gamble on Return by Death and reverse the world, and strive towards the best possible future. But,

[Subaru: If I return without learning anything, I’ll just be right back where I started]

At least, Subaru needed to find out what happened in the Sanctuary after he was gone.
Just what happened on the sixth day? That alone needed to be confirmed. And it was for this reason alone that, no matter how much Subaru wanted to scream his throat hoarse and clench his teeth until they cracked, he swallowed down his regrets towards the Mansion, and resigned himself to this loop.

If now was the fifth day, something should happen tomorrow.

Over the last three days, only Garfiel and someone else tasked with taking care of Subaru visited the prison. The caretaker always stayed silent, probably following Garfiel’s instructions, so Subaru couldn’t tell who it was. But from the way she wiped Subaru’s restrained body, and her motions as she fed Subaru by hand, he determined she was most likely a woman.
In an environment where his every move was being watched, there was no opportunity to investigate further, and so the real identity of Garfiel’s assistant remained unknown.

However, this must be a place where Emilia, who had rallied herself to save Subaru, couldn’t find.
Most likely, it was a secret location known only to Garfiel and his assistant, where Subaru could not hope to be discovered, and much less call for help.
In fact, if Garfiel and Roswaal had both decided to confine him here, then it would be pointless to escape anyway.

[Subaru: If Emilia could pass the Trials to save me, that’d be amazing, but……]

If the situation was reversed, Subaru was confident he would pass the Trials for Emilia’s sake. But Subaru had never imagined that Emilia would try to overcome the Trials for him. And he never thought he meant so much to her that he would be her motivating force. That was just how much Subaru undervalued himself in his mind.
But in reality, the fact that no good news came after three days probably meant that, just like the loops before this, Emilia couldn’t pass the Trial no matter how many times she challenged it.

In other words, the situation at the Mansion, at the Sanctuary, with Subaru, and Emilia, had all come to an impacted deadlock. Exactly like what Garfiel had once shouted to him.

[Subaru: After all, I……]

――Have to do something.

For Emilia, the Mansion, the Sanctuary, every single problem that came up, he must overcome with his own two hands, and with the only weapon at his disposal.

A quiet resolve. Never good at giving up, it was the only reason Subaru went on living.
After thinking for a long, long time, he came to the same conclusion he had already reached so many times before. Seeing it was more than his fingers could count, Subaru nodded to his heart, and waited for time to pass.

――When something finally happened, was when he felt something shaking his body as it was drifting into sleep.

[Subaru: ――mn?]

Someone was grasping his shoulders, shaking him awake as Subaru returned from his shallow slumber into reality.
He noticed saliva drooling down the corner of his lips, and since he couldn’t use his hands, he nudged over his shoulder to try to wipe it. It was a strenuous activity, but, apparently having gotten used to using his upper body, he managed to wipe it off,

[Subaru: Who……is it?]

His voice was still hoarse from having just woken up, in addition to the recent screaming.
He had promised himself not to scream like that again or his throat will break apart, and by now, he was already more or less desensitized to the pain that felt like he was going to spew blood. Although, it was nothing to be happy about.

Hearing Subaru’s response, the person who woke him let out a short sigh. And,

[???: Sorry to do this in the middle of your nap… but can you move, Natsuki-san?]

[Subaru: Aauh?]

Hearing the voice belonging to someone he never imagined would be here, Subaru couldn’t help but let out a stupid sound.
Perhaps mistaking Subaru’s surprise for drowsiness, the person mumbled [Oh, come on] in a quiet voice and gave Subaru a light slap on the face,

[???: I’m also taking quite a risk coming here to help you, you know, so can you please liven up a bit? I’m pretty sure we’ll both be sorry if things ended here]

Saying this, he cut the ropes binding Subaru’s hands and feet with a blade. Regaining the long lost freedom of his limbs, Subaru reaffirmed this sensation and brusquely pulled off his blindfold,

[Subaru: Augh… hands, feet… even my eyes are hurting]

In the center of Subaru’s thin, still-crooked vision, he made out the shape of a man who looked like he really didn’t want to be here.

 

A character who was here for no discernable reason, Otto Sewen made his unexpected entry onto the stage.

 

-=Chapter 38 End=-

Next Chapter: https://translationchicken.com/2017/08/05/rezero-arc-4-chapter-39-friendt-part-12/

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I’m going to bed for the night! This week I’ll try to finish Chapter 39 on Saturday.

I’ve been putting off Arc 6 Chapter 35 for over a month now and people keep pestering me about it >_<. It’s still the latest chapter in Japanese since Tappei-sama hasn’t released Arc 6 Ch 36 yet.

So I will work on Arc 6 Ch 35 if I can finish Arc 4 Chapter 39 early.

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Chpater 39 Live draft will go up tomorrow! I’ve been waking up in the afternoons lately so it’ll probably be around 5PM Pacfic Time!

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Chapter 39 Live Draft:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/re-zero-arc-4-39-13646612

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Next Chapter: https://translationchicken.com/2017/08/05/rezero-arc-4-chapter-39-friendt-part-12/

64 thoughts on “Re:Zero Arc 4 Chapter 38 [Caterpillar] (Part 2/2)

Add yours

  1. Hahahahahaha

    When i read “natsuki-san” i already knew it was otto
    XD he’s the only one in the sanctuary who calls him that

    Anyway thanks as always for these translations
    Chicken-sama

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Thx for the tranation chicken your the best and wouldnt it be a plot twist of the thing that ate subaru in his last life was garfeild

    Like

  3. What the?! Well in all honesty, I really did not expect Otto of all people would come and help Subaru there. Bravo Otto. I was even imagining that Subaru would commit suicide there by biting off his tongue again. Wow, good one, Otto. Now I hope Subaru will find more information or clues that he could use to solve the impending doom brought by Elsa, beat the trials and not get eaten again by whoever did that..

    Thank you again for the update, Chicken. Worth the suspenseful wait. And the suspense of Subaru solving this mystery is great! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Garf did say that he shouldn’t try anything and since he’s able to heal a smashed skull overnight, Subaru probably knew biting off his tongue would be pointless

      Like

  4. Hey guys, I have a theory about what roswaal wanted Subaru to remember. What if he was aware of “Returns By Death” and wanted Subaru to remember what happened in the previous loop. Or maybe he is aware that Subaru met Echidona and was asking him if he remembered her.

    Like

    1. I believe it’s closer to the second one. Really doubt Ros knows the truth about Subaru’s ability. Otherwise he would be really careful with his words. It’s hard to imagine an enemy as fearsome as Subaru, especially to one who relies on intrigue as heavily as Ros-chi.

      Like

      1. Ros seems kind of passive when things don’t go his way. What bothers me is the complete lack of empathy for what Subaru had to go through in arc 2 and 3. Ros talks of those events like, yeah, it was tough but you made it, and it’s all for Emilia, so relax. He gambled, knowing that Subaru will resolve the situations. But – not knowing how exactly.

        Like

      2. I think Ros-chi is implying something far beyond our scope of things as we see them. Something that even Subaru is unaware of, like why he was sent to this world. Well, time will tell I guess! Can’t wait to see what happens.

        Like

      3. The fact that Roswaal acts differently in every loop (referring to his reaction about Subaru completing the trial) makes me think that the contents of the gospel change every time Subaru returns by death.

        Since Subaru’s death changes how he lives out his new loop based on the knowledge he’s obtained in the previous one, it also means that every loop contains a new future. So I think it’s safe to assume the gospel’s content changes, which also means Roswaal’s reactions to certain bits of knowledge or events could change too.

        Like

    2. my theory is that the contents of the Gospel (at least Roswaal’s gospel) change or more info are added to it, for example….when Roswaal first learned of subaru passing the Trials in the previous loop he was shocked and enraged because it wasn’t in the gospel,next loop he wasn’t that shocked to learn of this and the latest one he kinda accepted it,now you’d think,does that mean that everything that subaru does in a previous loop will be added to the Gospel? I don’t think so…the contents of gospel changed because these changes are irreversible!
      at the current check point of Return by Death Subaru can’t undo the fact that he passed the first stage of the Trials thus it’s changed in the gospel….so I think Return by Death is still superior to Roswaal’s Gospel in a way and Subaru can still do the the unpredictable!

      Like

      1. I also don’t believe that what Subaru does in every loop is written in the gospel. The gospel is supposed to tell about the owner’s future and since Subaru can change the future every death, means that the gospel should not be able to say what will happen.

        That Roswaal has a different reaction in the 2nd and 3rd loop probably does mean, since Subaru can’t change the fact that he completed the first trail, that this is permanently written in the gospel. But we also can’t forget that just because he went back in time, doesn’t mean everything will occur just as before (Subaru realized this way back in the very first arc), meaning Roswaal’s reaction could also change for ‘seemingly’ no reason. What is important is that like the 2nd time and unlike the first time, he wasn’t shocked to learn this.

        We also should not forget that the gospel reveals a portion of the owner’s future, meaning a future after Subaru’s death.

        Like

  5. Amazing speed and high quality – I’d never ask for more. It’s like having an episode of my favorite show every week. Thanks again for not letting the tale to end with the anime!

    All glory to the Holy Chicken!

    Like

  6. Wow Otto! Didn’t see that coming. Subaru needs more faithful friends like him. This chapter makes me like Otto more than Roswaal, Garfiel, and others.

    Like

    1. When I say ”Nathuki-san” I knew it was Otoo .
      Otoo should help him to understand a lot of the stuff that is going on right now . At the very least where he is .
      And this phrase here ”who was here for no discernable reason” makes me think a lot about what is happening right now in the Sanctuary . Didn’t thought that the author will usu Otoo this way , and so soon in arc 4 .

      I know that Emilia didn’t pass the trials in the past , and she wouldn’t be able to in this loop , but if she managed to do it , wouldn’t that mean that Subaru would have 2-3 less days to save the mansion since the checkpoint would change ? Wouldn’t that be really bad and he makes a risk ?
      Then again he doesn’t know how the checkpoints work , and I never saw a proof how this works just speculation based on past checkpoints .

      Like

  7. I am hoping that the next time subaru revives, he will just stay in the tomb and take the trials. If he stays in there, garfiel can’t stop him. We will then find out what the other trials are and what happens when he completes them. I also want more answers from echidona.

    Like

  8. U guys remember Ehen echidona told US that there are people who run away from the past? What if once u run away u can geht possesed by the witch? Vor u manifest into some dort oft Monster?

    Like

  9. Amazing translation as always Chicken-sama!….tho I think this chapter wasn’t as interesting as the previous ones but I have a feeling that’s just the calm before the storm!
    and who would’ve thought Otta would come to rescue Subaru!

    Like

  10. HoooooooOO,………that dude(otto) have a death wish.

    Because garf will know that subaru escaped thought smelling
    THE STENCH.
    I am already imagining the way he is dying .

    Like

    1. Maybe it wont be so bad and the Sanctuary got slaughtered already, like in the end of the previous loop? I doubt they all just got up and left the village.

      Like

  11. not a spoiler, just a guess
    Like the last loop when rem does the confession while subaru was on the down state, this is gonna be the last loop before the turnback, since he is also in the down state now

    But who cares? Let enjoy the stories
    Thank you chicken-sama 🙂

    Like

    1. > this is gonna be the last loop
      Hahahaha… 38th chapter of like 140+ of the 4th arc. My guess is his suffering has only just begun.

      Like

  12. Thanks for the translations again, my body would disintegrate without them. Otto suddenly just seems like a much better person. Wonder why.

    Like

  13. Gonna throw it out there that ras eyes matter. I dont know how or anything, but they take lengths to say things like “he looked at subaru with his one blue eye”

    I have a feeling that ras can see more than the usual.

    Like

  14. No Spoilers , only a prediction .
    Otoo is there either because he managed to find it by chance or an ability , which isn’t likely since we haven’t seen him be able to do sth like that and a key plot point happened by chance would be bad , OR because Garfield wanted him to go .

    With this there are 2 possibilities as well.

    First Garfield told him because Otoo wanted to find Subaru and do sth while the people in the Sanctuary are killed , which is a possibility but if sth happened Garfield would just fight instead of talking with Otoo (and Subaru while he has convinced those 2 that he can think a good plan , he show them as well how little fighting skills he has AND there is no time and the losses would already be a lot , so I am not sure how they would be able to think of a plan or saving Subaru ) .

    Second Garfield commanded him to go there , since something happened with the villagers , or most likely Emilia inside the tomb after all those trials and Subaru must go inside there , since none else is able/willing to go . But we know that something is attacking the Sanctuary . And Garfield could just usu his assistant to get Subaru there without telling him where he was kept . And why sending Otoo alone since he is in the end an ally of Subaru and not someone Garfield can trust . Or he just doesn’t think they can do sth even if they try .

    I would bet on the second , but it is like almost 50/50 in my mind . The more I think about it , it makes less sense to sent Otoo . But then again Otoo could have the other assistant with him , and he/she is still not saying a word .

    Like

      1. I guess we’ll find out next chapter. Otto probably didn’t think there was any reason to bail Subaru out of prison until the events that led to Sanctuary being empty started happening.

        Or something to do with Emilia.
        In the first loop Emilia tried to complete the trails for 3 days before she would break and Garfiel asked Subaru to take over for her. Now in this loop, Subaru has been laying in that cell for 3 days which could possibly mean Emilia is no longer able to do the trial.

        Like

    1. i dont think anything happened to the villagers yet. if he was to leave for the mansion now, he would be able to get there on time before elsa killed everyone at the mansion off. before when he didnt know elsa was at the mansion, everything was still fine at the sanctuary. i dont think that there’s trouble in the sanctuary yet.

      Like

      1. Yea . That is true as well .
        Then it is either Garfield commanding Otto and his servant to go , or Otoo trying to find a way to fix this problem .
        But in the end of the chapter it said this ” who was here for no discernable reason”
        So Garfield send Otto there .

        Like

  15. My theory:

    Elsa somehow always managed to appear infront of Subaru all the time. How did Elsa know about the escape route?

    My guess is either she has a Gospel ( probably not ) or whoever gave her the mission has a Gospel ( more likely, lets go with the latter ). And somehow the Gospel keeps track of Subaru’s movement, telling the future about where he will go ( how exactly I dont know ) . Which also means Elsa is out for killing Subaru.

    Before Subaru got devoured by something (after Beako teleported him away), I guess he was out of action for few days ( not sure tho ). Subaru did not see anyone in the Sanctuary ( all killed? devoured too? ) and went directly to the tomb, to get strucked and finally eaten.

    We do not know for sure but the first thing coming to the mind is Archbishop of Gluttony and/or his minions.

    What I am guessing is:
    Gluttony wants to kill Subaru, therefore he is sending Elsa for the job.
    But why Subaru? That’s probably related to Rem. Gluttony stole her name and something I forgot the name of. But those two things somehow made Gluttony aware of Subaru’s existence and/or somehow started the appearance of Subaru’s future position in his Gospel.

    That’s all for now. I am pretty sure most of it is totally wrong 😀 But those thoughts struck me while reading this chapter.

    And most importanty : Thank you Chicken-dono for your hard work ^^

    Like

  16. Those ‘future diaries’ are such a pain for Subaru. :’0

    At least he has Return By Death at his disposal(literally) haha

    All hail Lord Chicken!!!

    Like

  17. I do not understand why do you always talk something about Arc 6 when we are on Arc 4? can someone explain to me ? even if is stupid or im missing something and arc 6 is really close to 4 or what

    Like

  18. Amazing speed as always! Otto came in for the W! I think Otto is my favorite side character by far, he really is Subaru’s best companion, making situations better with his reactions ans innocence! Although, unexpecred moments like these really make me enjoy his screen time, cam’t wait to see this animated! Thank you Chicken for another awesome translation! 😀

    Like

  19. Wow.I never expect I would reach the latest work…I guess I read too fast xD Im reading this for days.Great work and keep up 😀

    Like

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  21. Big ol’ Otto saves the day once again. Hope this will improve Subaru’s estimate of Otto.
    Thanks for the translations! What will happen? So many cliffhangers and mysteries!

    Liked by 1 person

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