Re:Zero Arc 4 Chapter 90 [――I’m Sorry] (Part 2/2)


Translator: TranslationChicken


Editor: TranslationChicken




Previous Part 1/2:



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{???: ――I’ve finally found you}

――Who’s there?

{???: Sorry… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… for leaving you here alone. I’ve been searching forever. Constantly, and constantly, I’ve been searching and searching for you}

――Where… am I? It’s so… cold.

{???: I’ll get you out right away. ……Such a lonely place, all by yourself…… why did a child have to go through…… why did it take me so long to……}

――Say… who are you? Why…’re you crying?

{???: ――Because you’re the most lovely thing in this world. Because I’m so happy to see you again}

――You’re… that glad?

{???: Yes. It was for you…… it was in order to see you again, that I was reborn}

――Who are you?

{???: I…… I’m your greatest companion. Your one greatest, truest companion}

――Then, you’re my……

{???: ――Yes, that’s right. From this day forth, I will be your family. From this moment onward, you’ll never be alone again. ――This, I promise you}

――Really? Then, I’m……


※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※


[Emilia: ――reeaally glad]

Emilia held her hands to her chest, reminiscing on a happier time.
Listening to her words, Subaru felt his mouth rapidly drying.

Emilia, sleeping inside the ice.
In the Great Tree of Prayers of her homeland. Frozen within its trunk, Emilia remained there until Puck saved her.
Just how long a time was it――?

[Subaru: Emilia… the place you lived in would be Elior Forest, right? The one that was frozen a long time ago, where the ice is gradually spreading even now?]

[Emilia: Mn, it is. By the time I woke up, they were calling it the “Ice Forest”. ――But it was a bright and luscious place bathed in sunlight before I went to sleep. It never snowed when I lived there with everyone]

[Subaru: Luscious…… no, more importantly… who’s everyone?]

Subaru didn’t know much about that place, so the before-and-after of Elior Forest was unknown to him. But here, it was something else that caught his attention.

[Emilia: Everyone is everyone. Everyone I lived with in the forest…… all the Elves]

[Subaru: The Elves…… then, your family was there too? Your mom and dad, and…… maybe siblings, too]

[Emilia: ――――]

However, seeing Emilia’s eyes filled with sadness, Subaru once again realized that he had misspoken.
Emilia must’ve said it at some point before. That Puck was like her foster parent, and her only family.

Subaru was supposed to have known that Emilia had lost her family in one fashion or another.

[Subaru: I’m sor…… I didn’t mean……]

[Emilia: It’s fine. You’re just worried for me, Subaru. ……But my family wasn’t in the forest. Everyone in the village was very kind to me, and always smiled at me, but…… I had no blood-relatives in that forest]

[Subaru: ……if there’s no one, then, your parents are……?]

At that question, Emilia quietly shook her head.
She fiddled with the ends of her braid as if to distract herself, then,

[Emilia: They were both gone by the time I was self-aware. I didn’t think it was all that strange at the time. ……I did have someone who was like a mother to me… who was reeaally kind, and strong, and cool…… I had someone like that]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Emilia: But that person, and everyone else…… when I fell asleep, they all went to sleep as well. Even now, deep in Elior Forest, so many people remain there in unwaking sleep]

[Subaru: Hha――!?]

Speaking in a dispassionate voice, Emilia seemed to be tasking herself to state only the facts. Subaru’s throat clogged up at the content of her words, but Emilia paid it no mind as she continued.

[Emilia: After I woke up, Puck and I went on watching over everyone sleeping. So that someday, when someone wakes up like I did, they wouldn’t feel lost, not knowing anything…… thinking this, we stayed there]

[Subaru: ……Hold on a second]

The information load was so dense that Subaru’s brain was struggling to keep up.
What on earth happened in Elior Forest on the day Emilia first saw it snow?

[Subaru: From what I know, Elior Forest began freezing…… a little over a hundred years ago…… I mean, I must’ve heard it while I was in the Royal Selection Hall or something]

[Emilia: Mm. I was reeaally surprised too when I went to study at the Mansion and learned of this]

[Subaru: So, you were there when Elior Forest first froze, right? Do you know how it happened?]

[Emilia: ――No, I don’t]

Emilia shook her head to Subaru’s question.
Seeing Subaru furrow his brows, she looked down with a pained expression.

[Emilia: I really don’t. Whatever happened back then…… I can’t remember it clearly at all. All I remember is that I was little, and I was terribly scared. But since I went on sleeping for so long, those memories are vague too……]

[Subaru: You mentioned that you were little… but about how old were you back then?]

[Emilia: ……I think… I was around seven]

[Subaru: Seven…… and it’s safe to assume that Elves count their age the same way as humans, right?]

At this, Emilia nodded.
If Elves count their age the way people normally do, then it’d increment by one every passing year. Elves are well known to be a long-living race, and Emilia, being a Half-Elf, should be the same. On the other hand, even the long-living Elves must go through a childhood, so the seven-year-old Emilia was beyond any blame.
Although, with some simple arithmetics, this means that Emilia’s current age would be seven plus a-hundred-odd years.

[Subaru: The age gap’s nothing to worry about at this point… And considering we’re from different worlds to begin with, that’s nothing, really…]

[Emilia: ……Subaru, what’s wrong? Did I say something funny, or……]

[Subaru: Nope, nope. I was just thinking that you and me have a really serious age gap, that’s all]

While putting his thoughts in order and catching his breath, Subaru threw in a joke to lighten the mood. Although the joke was probably lost on her, Emilia’s tense cheeks did relax somewhat as she let out a small sigh,

[Emilia: We do… but since I was asleep and unconscious for so long, I’m not really sure I’ve matured to my real age……]

[Subaru: Really? I don’t exactly know how fast Elves grow, but if it’s anything like humans, I’d say you’re pretty matured]

Subaru casually looked over Emilia on the bed before snorting off her worries.
Her limbs were fully grown, and her body had all the curvatures of femininity. Her melancholy amethyst eyes and dream-like features anointed her with a mysterious beauty, traveling in between that of a girl and woman.
Emilia was plenty enough matured already.

But it seems Subaru was missing the point of Emilia’s worries, while with a [No], she shook her head.

[Emilia: Sleeping in the ice did not stop time for me, but only put my consciousness to sleep. So my body kept growing even inside the ice. Controlling my body felt so different from when I went to sleep that, for a time after I woke, I stumbled over so many things]

[Subaru: So being in that ice…… also has its flaws, huh]

Having her seven-year-old body when she fell asleep turned into a fully-grown woman when she woke must have been bewildering for her.
It happens quite a lot in animes and mangas for children to have their bodies suddenly turned into adults, and the adaptation must not be easy. It’s only natural that Emilia would’ve been distressed by the discrepancy between her mind and body.

[Emilia: When Roswaal brought me out of the forest to study outside…… and I learned that I had slept for nearly a hundred years, I was reeaally shocked. To find out that I had been sleeping for so long…]

[Subaru: If people age normally inside the ice… then for anyone other than long-living Elves it’d be all ov……]

“Over”, was what he was about to say, when he noticed that he had just been told an incredible fact.
Shutting his eyes, Subaru quietly put the numbers together in his head. Adding and subtracting, and then rechecking it several times just to be sure, his doubts turned into definite suspicion.

[Subaru: Hey, Emilia…… you just said you slept for almost a hundred years?]

[Emilia: I did, yeah……?]

[Subaru: And you were about seven before you went to sleep, right?]

[Emilia: I was. Subaru, what’s……]

[Subaru: Emilia. How long has it been since Puck woke you up?]

At least, from what he had heard, Roswaal brought Emilia out of the forest about half a year ago. Which means Emilia would have lived with Puck in Elior Forest until then. The question is, how much time had passed between her falling asleep, waking, and meeting Roswaal?

Still with a troubled expression, Emilia placed her finger to her lips.

[Emilia: ……About, six or seven years…… or so]

[Subaru: ――――]

Hearing Emilia’s answer, Subaru’s suspicion turned into absolute conviction.
The fact shocked through Subaru’s body like a lightning bolt.

Seven years after she was born, she spent nearly one hundred years sleeping, then spent another seven years awake.
Which would mean that――

――Emilia is around 107 years old. Looks like she’s 18. While mentally, she’s 14.

[Subaru: Her actual age, apparent age, and mental age…… are all messed up……]

That kind of discrepancy was only possible because she is an Elf.
So many questions Subaru had about Emilia’s behavior up to now suddenly made sense.

Subaru had found her rather ignorant to flattery for an over-a-century-old Elf, and he couldn’t help noticing her disproportionate lack of experience of being around people, plus the cuteness of her occasionally childlike demeanor was always quite conspicuous.
So all of it was the result of having spent the majority of her life in the ice…

[Subaru: Fourteen…… that’s no different than Felt……]

Why did a girl this young have to shoulder such great responsibility? Subaru’s irritation towards the Royal Selection and for Roswaal was only mounting.
Then, reflecting on how the topic he brought up to lighten the mood had completely derailed, Subaru cut into another certainly-not-unrelated topic.

[Subaru: Earlier, you said you don’t know why the forest was frozen. So then what did you see in the Trial? That vague memory of before you were frozen…… that’s what you saw, right?]

[Emilia: ……I think so. The scenery was definitely from before I went to sleep…… so I think it’s a memory of a time that really existed]

[Subaru: So then, maybe the fact that you’re so terrified of the memory is because in it you encountered whatever froze you and the other Elves, and you’re subconsciously rejecting it……]

[Emilia: ――That’s not…]

[Subaru: I mean, it doesn’t get scarier than that, right? The Trial shows you your greatest regret. So maybe what you’re seeing is……]

[Emilia: I said you’re wrong!]

Emilia shouted, shattering Subaru’s overheated train of thought.
But she immediately blinked as if regretting raising her voice, and then closed her eyes to shake off her hesitation as she turned her watery eyes to Subaru.

[Emilia: That’s not…… what I saw in the Trial. It wasn’t anything like that. ……What I saw was……]

[Subaru: E-Emil……]

[Emilia: ――Devil-child]

A chill like an icy spear pierced into Subaru’s spine.
Emilia buried her face in her hands, hiding her expression. From beyond her covered face, her voice continued quietly, without emotion.

[Emilia: The seed of disaster. Silver abomination. The creature that should never have been born. Source of all hatred. Unforgivable spirit. Demon. ――The Witch’s Daughter]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Emilia: Everyone who was kind to me, who smiled at me, said those things to me in the freezing snow, and……]

Emilia’s limbs, and her entire body, was faintly trembling.

[Emilia: I don’t remember anything that happened after I was inside the ice. But I can’t forget how everyone must have cursed me, frozen there. And how they must continue to curse me still]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Emilia: And so, I want to free everyone from the ice…… and apologize]

Absently, with her face in tears, Emilia looked up, as if seeing them, before quietly bowing her head.



[Emilia: I’m sorry I caused you trouble. ――Everyone, I love you all]



-=Chapter 90 End=-




Next Chapter:




We left Edmonton and are spending some time relaxing in Elk Island National Park ogling at bisons ❤

Next stop will be Saskatoon, and for the first time on this roadtrip we’ll be visiting somewhere we’ve never been before!


Let me know if you see any typos! ❤


Chapter 91 Live Draft:
[I’m mostly working offline to save data right now, I might update the Live Draft  when a part is almost ready!]


Next Chapter:

90 thoughts on “Re:Zero Arc 4 Chapter 90 [――I’m Sorry] (Part 2/2)

Add yours

    1. It would explain why puck didn’t have the slightest doubts about subaru in the very first few loops, where from puck’s perspective subaru only just met emilia but subaru knew of puck’s existence and called out to him for help against the bowel hunter

      Liked by 1 person

      1. puck can sense subs feelings hes an empath. he told emelia in the very first loop and afterwards that sub had no ill intent and genuinely a nice guy. you can trust a guy and still think he is a weirdo.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahah. Spoiler what? Beatrice already knew puck even before they met at roswaal mansion. And the fact that beatrice never leave the forbidden library since she was given this contract 400 years ago only makes it more obvious.


        1. Yes i came to this conclusion the moment beatrice cried over her “dead mother“ i think the majority of this anime viewers lack rarional thought and common sense aswell as foresight. Anyway that wont stop me from enjoying it.


  1. Seven years after she was born, she spent nearly one hundred years sleeping, then spent another seven years awake.
    Which would mean that――

    ――Emilia is around 107 years old. Looks like she’s 18. While mentally, she’s 14.

    Umm, If she was 7 years old at the time, spent 100 asleep, and another 7 awake, doesn’t that make her 114?

    Liked by 1 person

          1. You should have a tilde on the 107 age for Emilia too because of the uncertainty over exactly how long she had been frozen. Given that it could be less than 100 years, or more, 107 can’t be a definitive answer. Plus, if she was 7 when it started and took her, for argument’s sake, 100 years flat to get out, she would be 114 when talking to Subaru in this chapter.

            107±7 years old, to account for that


          2. Nono, the forest froze ~100 years ago from today. So her age today is ~100+7=~107

            It says her “actual age is around 107 years old”. Around is already the ~.


          3. Lemme help u chicken. The forest began to froze 100 years ago when emilia is 7 yo. Emilia freed from the ice 7 years ago doesnt mean the forest freed from the ice too. Meaning, during the past 100 years in that forest, emilia only got frozen for 93 years.
            The 100 years perspective is not from emilia started sleeping in the ice until awoken, but it is from emilia started sleeping in the ice until the current calendar in that world.

            Liked by 1 person

      1. you do realise that PHYSICALLY Rem and Emilia are similiar, right? Rem 17 BOTH physically and mentally, just like Subaru. But Emilia’s body is 18, but her mental age is 14, similar to Felt. So, I’m not sure if Subaru’s into older women or younger, bruv.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. considering every time emelia acted immature he was more confused and concerned then into it. i mean he likes crush because she is a serious mature women. if he was into older immature women he would have flirted with Priscilla, if liked little girls felt or little ‘mature’ girls like beako >yknow before he knew she was a spirit<


      2. But Emilia is technically 14.
        Which means, despite Subo’s constant assertion that he’s not into lolis, he actually is.
        But he’s only into lolis that don’t look like lolis and are of legal age so that FBI can’t move in on him.


        1. @ MrJanitar

          She’s 107-108 in human years. Emilia is already beyond legal. lol

          Even if your only talking about her mind, she’s only 3 years younger than Subaru there, but often acts more responsible than him. XD

          It’s only when comes to normal teenager stuff like dating or having friends where is she totally inexperience and very awkward.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Emilia said she doesn’t feel mature yet (mentally, she’s still a child) but Subaru thinks she’s perfectly matured (Emilia looks 18 y/o and has a curvaceous body).


  3. The thought that Puck is Subaru popped into my mind for a moment. I still think Puck is her dad though.
    Emilia, walking on the gray area between legal and not. FBI on standby.
    Thanks for the chapter, Chicken…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m pretty sure there is a red-herring with both Subaru and Puck saying the same thing in the exact same way in the exact same type of situation.

      Back in an erased loop of arc 3 that only exist in the web novel, Puck said something like “you didn’t say any of this Echidna” while screaming.
      Notice that in one of the arc 4 loops, Subaru say the exact same thing, the way it is written, the way the scene happens, the context and everything else is the same in all its details.

      So some people formented the hypothesis that Puck might indeed be linked to Subaru somehow, one way or another. Whether that’s a reincarnation, a created spirit or some kind of transformation thing.


      1. yep realized that too. sub saw puck saying that so could be copying him people do this all the time without realizing it. i do not think so mostly because they do not act the same sub is overprotective of emelia and puck is the opposite so much so that it pissed sub off.


  4. They’re calling Emilia the Witch’s daughter now, but I wonder. I’ve had a nagging doubt for a while now but I can’t quite put it into words yet.

    I’m forgetting… how long ago did the witches die? Aside from Satella, anyway. The timing is right, isn’t it? A hundred years, give or take? But… a daughter? Who would Satella have had a daughter with? Did Dona…


    1. Emillia being the “witch” daughter is impossible at every level. Both biologically (Setalla and Emillia are half-elves) but also it doesn’t make sense in timeline (Emillia was born 100+ years ago, Satella was sealed like 400 years ago, it doesn’t add up).

      So there are two possibilities:

      1. They call her that as a stigma (same appearance, same demi-race etc).
      2. They don’t mean Satella in specific (son of man doesn’t mean that the person is you or me right? But we’re both humans).

      The normal humans or people not in the know are probably category 1 because they fear her.

      The people in the know like Echidna are probably category 2. But decide to go 1 anyway because she’s a massive asshole.


      1. Hmm, okay, I was remembering wrong. Still, I’m assuming there’s something there, even if she isn’t literally the biological daughter of Satella. I wonder how firmly Satella is sealed. She’s certainly capable of interacting with Subaru, she killed Emilia once before, and she even swallowed the entire Sanctuary after the talk where Subaru told Dona about Return By Death.

        I should also point out with regards to the second point you made, that pretty much whenever someone mentions ‘the Witch’ they mean Satella, or the Witch of Envy, specifically. So I’d lean towards the first point more.

        Also if Emilia were Satella’s daughter in the literal sense, it seems odd that Satella would kill her in a jealous fit. Or maybe not, considering she’s Envy…


        1. About your last point, I am not too sure about that. Consider, she sees herself as another person (Satella) so if “the witch of Envy” could kill “Satella” she would definitely do it. It is not strange, then, that she could kill her own daughter in a fit of jealousy. Of course, we pretty much confirmed it isn’t possible.

          Actually, it would make more sense if Emillia goes back in the past and take on the Envy genes.
          It could also be something like Emillia is a clone to be used a vessel (kind of like the the Lewes’ clones).

          Striclty speaking, I don’t think Subaru would allow Satella to take over Emillia as a vessel, but at the same time there is no way he would let anyone fuck around with Satella’s life even if he doesn’t know it himself. So whatever is happening right now is probably more profound and compex than what we are told at the moment.


          1. both dona and roshit started calling emelia ‘thing’ same nick name with satella which is odd because ‘child’ would be more an apt nickname to call emelia. also ‘good’ satellas memories of what sub did sound like what he is doing for emelia now. what if its really dona thats manipulating time and sub just has the power to remember >like in steins gate< is dona using 'predictive magic' or knows because she is winding time and changing 'history' using roshit telling him to do things differently to change the 'history' of the future. sounds dumb but why would lewes describe it as changing history? and not the future?


  5. So if we think about it, Emilia can win the best loli character (14 yr. old mind set), baba character (actually 107 yrs. old) and best teen character (18 yrs. old body).

    Does the author wants to smash the records?


    1. Darling-in-the-FranXX. the alien princess is 14 million years old and forcibly made out with the protagonist. the oldest loli i have ever seen in anime. that is smashing records lol.


    1. I don’t think Emilia resurrected him, but maybe Dona? He had a contract with Dona that he can’t remember something important (maybe his past?).


  6. [Subaru: Her actual age, apparent age, and mental age…… are all messed up……]

    Yep, that’s true. But she’s still a very kind girl deep inside. Sorry Rem, i’m on Emilia side now

    Liked by 1 person

  7. [Emilia: Everyone who was kind to me, who smiled at me, said those things to me in the freezing snow, and……]

    Emilia’s limbs, and her entire body, was faintly trembling.

    [Emilia: I don’t remember anything that happened after I was inside the ice. But I can’t forget how everyone must have cursed me, frozen there. And how they must continue to curse me still]

    [Subaru: ――――]

    [Emilia: And so, I want to free everyone from the ice…… and apologize]

    Absently, with her face in tears, Emilia looked up, as if seeing them, before quietly bowing her head.

    [Emilia: I’m sorry I caused you trouble. ――Everyone, I love you all]

    Emilia still loves them who hates her. She is really best girl and I love her so much ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I was afraid of this. Emilia always seemed to act a little young for her age (even if she aged like a normal human). Emilia has been closed off from the outside world for so long and I would argue that she is still closed off even now but her back story now give a darn good reason why.

    Thanks Chicken! This has been an amazing read. Hope you continue to have a great time on your trip.


    1. i always thought she was just a bit retarded the old king of lugnica was said to be dumb so the theory fit perfectly. there the king is really just a figure head i guess which is why qualifications are not a factor. seems to be purely on charisma. i hope they keep up with emelias character growth because at this point she really should not be running anything.


      1. if you read the felix/crush backstory novel it is clear the king just is a figure heard, what the pople want is to keep the contract with the dragon


      2. Age wasn’t much of factor when came to ruling the middle ages. Moreover as I said earlier, Emilia actually usually acts more more mature than Subaru who usually goofs off or acts incompetent. Emilia has never done anything stupid in the story as far as I remember she been imparting her on knowledge or acting as older sister to Subaru. Her weakness in interpersonal social norms like dating, but you don’t need that to be a ruler.

        In fact people at Emilia’s mental age in this society are considered adults and are already taking care of themselves, prepping for careers. Subaru by contrast like most kids his age are too busy living in the moment or thinking about the opposite sex.


        1. Keep in mind that Felt also participating Selection, and she younger than Subaru also more mature than he various respects as just as with Emilia she went through a life of hardship.


          1. what knowledge? emelia does not know anything, emelia never acted more mature then subaru i have no idea where you are getting that from. when they went to the capital she was scared for subarus safety but she was again walking around with a bullseye on her back that made no sense. she only has dreams of becoming king but 0 plans on accomplishing her goals how is that mature? sabaru was only flirting with her a bit he wanted to take things slow but everyone else was pushing him into telling emelias his feelings. including ram. felt did not at first want to become king but because she had the strongest fighter as support she figured f it. <lol man felt was pushed into it by Reinhardt


        2. also i take offense on the ‘interpersonal social’ your saying a ruler does not have to have charisma or knowledge in how society functions? seriously she would make a horrible ruler at this point a great deal of character growth needs to happen before anyone is gonna accept her as king. i gotta wonder how you think a closet idiot like her would be fit for king. but she will grow i have hopes in that.


  9. This whole chapter really explains why Emilia is such an immature girl… I feel sorry for having thought poor of her back at the beginning of Re: Zero.
    So what is her Trial? Is it more like accepting her appearance or something deeper than that?
    I’m soooooo curious right now but unfortunately I have reached this point with the chapters so I must suffer and wait with you all!!
    Thanks for the amazing work so far Chicken!


  10. Have you ever thought of expanding your team and adding new translators. you could probably find somebody willing. you probably think that you need to provide the translations specifically for qualities sake and I can respect that.
    I’m just wondering.


  11. Hey chickensama thanks for all the hardwork and i have a question how long is rezero and wwhic year it Japanese light novel will end in.


    1. There’s no way to know the end-date, but Tappei-sama said it will be around 11 Arcs long. It will be 6 more years at the very least to reach the end of the story, but it could be much longer.


  12. Yeah I think Subaru should back off on the whole physical love thing and be more platonic love to Emilia. To do otherwise is to take advantage of a child. A child who in addition was deprived of human contact for nearly half of their conscious life.

    To learn the person you were pushing your love and romantic affection onto was a deprived child and your subsequentl actions where robbing her of her future love life/experiences must be some heavy shit to hear


    1. to be fair he was just flirting with her it was everyone else including ram that was condoning him for taking things slowly. he just wanted a date with her and was happy with it. kinda making out like he was forcing her into things if she said no he would have backed off.


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