Re:Zero Arc 4 Chapter 77 [All Alone……] (Part 2/2)

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Translator: TranslationChicken

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Editor: TranslationChicken

(Thank you Kam, Dumpster, Brototype, Danny89, Anni, Mohamad, Roanz, Sir Fox for helping me proofread on the Live Draft! <3)

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ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO TAPPEI NAGATSUKI, THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR OF RE:ZERO, THIS IS A TRANSLATION OF THE FREE JAPANESE WEB NOVEL INTO ENGLISH
JAPANESE WEB NOVEL SOURCE: HTTP://NCODE.SYOSETU.COM/N2267BE/244/

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Previous Part 1/2: https://translationchicken.com/2018/05/01/rezero-arc-4-chapter-77-all-alone-part-1-2/

 

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It was by accepting Return by Death, using its characteristics to overcome his obstacles, enduring all varieties of hardships that Subaru had made it this far.
Tasting the despair of “Death” time and time again, letting it carve into his soul, turning it into his strength, Subaru got to where he was.

――And it was that same Natsuki Subaru’s wound-ridden path that made him this way.

[Subaru: The one taking on the wounds, the one suffering…! It’ll be me, all me, only me! If having me suffer is enough, then everything’ll turn out great, won’t it!? As long as I can hold it in, as long as I can bury the rage, the grief, everything, I won’t let despair touch anyone else no matter how painfully I have to die! From beginning to end, as long as I’m the only one who gets hurt, then it’s all fine, isn’t it!? What’s wrong with that!?]

Repeat with Return by Death, and, through trial and error, reach the optimal future. It was just as Echidona said. But rather than accept Echidona’s offer which would use that resolve to satisfy her own curiosity, he would continue to forge his path alone, just as he had always done.
Unlike Echidona, who would lure him into taking extra detours, if Subaru set his heart and mind to search for the optimal path, the number of retries would no doubt be less than if he went with her. It might very well be more times than he could count. But, even so, there was value in trying.

If at the other end of the bruise-laden Subaru’s outstretched arm was a future where no one else would be hurt, then,

[Subaru: I said you’re incomprehensible, that I’m sick of it, didn’t I? Yeah, sorry, my bad. There was not a shred of dishonesty in that feeling… but I should’ve thanked you. How did I forget? I actually forgot, how utterly ungrateful of me]

[Satella: ――――]

[Subaru: There is just one thing I have to thank you for. Thanks, for giving me Return by Death. It is all thanks to you. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to protect a single thing important to me. So I’ll be sure to keep relying on that power. So for that, and only that… I thank you]

He was prepared to go on through trial and error.
The option to flee from this fate had already been abolished a long time ago.

Ever since he said “Take my hand, and run away with me” and was rejected, the option to flee was gone.
He must fight on. For this was his oath, what she expected of him, and what she believed in him. Subaru will not run away, but keep on fighting.
Subaru was the man who would always stand back up. Otherwise, he would no longer be Rem’s hero.

[Subaru: That’s why… thank you for giving me this power. It’s thanks to you that this useless, worthless fool could turn those hopeless situ……]

[Satella: ――don’t]

[Subaru: situ…ations……]

Just as Subaru was going to pour out all the heat that had been pent up in his chest, Satella broke her silence with a murmur.
Hearing that single fragment, Subaru’s words dulled from their momentum. His face stiffened, waiting, begging to hear that whisper once more.
What did she say just now? It was like something he couldn’t bear to hear.

He held his breath, while Satella, after a brief silence, spoke again.

[Satella: ――Please… don’t cry. Don’t hurt. Don’t suffer. Don’t make… such a sad expression anymore]

Pleading, Satella whispered to Subaru.
Her words swept up violent tremors in his heart. Of rage, of shock, of a nondescript jumble of every emotion there is.

[Subaru: Y, you…… what d……]

Overwhelmed by the maelstrom of emotions, he didn’t know what to say.
Intense passion clogged up his throat as he merely opened and closed his mouth, staring at Satella.

Before the wavering Subaru, Satella continued with her sedition.

[Satella: And so, love…]

[Subaru: Is… is that what it comes down to? ……You want to twist my emotions until I finally love you? Is that what you……]

[Satella: ――no]

Satella interrupted Subaru’s trembling words.
Her expression remained invisible. But, somehow, he could almost sense through his skin how Satella was looking at him behind that veil of shadow.
――Satella, she was,

[Satella: ――Love yourself… a little more]

Surely, she was casting him a look of compassion――

 

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

 

It took some time for the meaning of those words to filter into his brain.
But once it did, a shapeless, tremoring wave of emotion instantly engulfed his heart.

[Subaru: The hell…… did you just say]

[Satella: ……Please… don’t hurt anymore. Be kinder to yourself]

[Subaru: You… were the one who gave me Return by Death… weren’t you? You gave me this power so I’d have a way to move forward…]

[Satella: ――I love you. So, please, love yourself as well, and protect yourself]

[Subaru: If I only value my own safety, if you take this method away from me! What’ll I have left!!?]

In rejection of Satella’s boundless whispers of love, Subaru screamed, pressing his hand against his chest,

[Subaru: You know it too, don’t you!? I’m completely powerless! No wits, no skill, I have no special powers at all! The only thing this good-for-nothing self has is the Return by Death you’ve given me! So isn’t my life the only thing I can offer!?]

[Satella: Don’t be sad]

[Subaru: I’ve already factored in all the pain, all the deaths I have to experience. I’ve accepted it, I’m fine with it! If I’m the only one who’ll have to suffer, then I’m fine with that!]

[Satella: Don’t suffer anymore]

[Subaru: Getting myself hurt more than anyone else, by going through more than anyone else, if I strive and struggle to protect everyone else, then I can make sure that no one besides me has to suffer! There’s nothing more that I want!]

[Satella: Please… don’t cry]

[Subaru: It doesn’t matter what happens to me, does it!? Like anyone would be bothered care what happens to a bastard like me! No matter how broken, how torn I become, as long as everyone reaches that future safely, then…… hk]

Because, if Subaru stops taking those wounds at the very front lines――

[Subaru: If we can welcome that future… without losing anyone… then…… gh]

――he might irrevocably lose someone somewhere unreachable again.

[Subaru: ……Rem is.. already gone]

[Satella: ――――]

[Subaru: If I were smarter, if I were stronger, if I wasn’t so concerned about my life, if I had put myself in the front…… I could’ve prevented it]

The loss and the despair from back then still binds Natsuki Subaru always.
And so, Subaru had resolved not to rely on anyone, but to carry his wounds, fighting on alone, believing this to be the most correct course.

[Subaru: I have to believe…… I have to believe that there’s always a way……]

That Return by Death could solve everything.
That as long as he uses it well, Subaru will not lose a single thing in the end.
If he didn’t believe, if he didn’t tell himself that taking those wounds was necessary, if he didn’t convince himself that this was the truth, how could he possibly confront that despair again?

[Subaru: I……! I don’t want to lose anyone the way I lost Rem again―― gh!]

Grabbing his head, Subaru shrieked as if to reject all other audible sound.
Before he knew it, he had crumpled to the ground. Forgetting even to distance himself from Satella, he retreated into his shell, curling up as he denied her sweet whispers.
Poison. Virulent poison. Satella’s very existence was a will-melting poison to Subaru.

Subaru’s heart, which he had sworn never to allow to falter, began to fracture.
Into that opened gap entered ice-cold despair, wrecking his heart with the reawakened grief of that day.

[Sekhmet: You aren’t a child anymore]

Suddenly, there came a muttered voice.

Seeing Subaru, wailing and crying, stubbornly insisting on his self-made conclusions and shaking his head in denial of all else, one of the Witches who had kept silent until now murmured.

[Sekhmet: Crying, bawling, throwing up a tantrum, taking everything onto yourself…… isn’t that, just like…]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Sekhmet: ――a little child, left all alone?]

In a sad, pitying voice, Sekhmet remarked on the current Subaru.
The other silent Witches who had heard Sekhmet’s murmur did not refute it.

The Witch of Sloth’s words were all too accurate.
Because Subaru’s figure now was just that of a pitiful, frail, little child.

 

-=Chapter 77 End=-

 

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Next Chapter: https://translationchicken.com/2018/05/05/rezero-arc-4-chapter-78-a-voice-that-was-about-to-cry-part-1-2/

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I’m loving Satella now ;-;

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This one was finished last night but I wanted to revise it a bit more…
Let me know if you catch any typos! ❤

I’ll get started on the next one now!

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Chapter 78 Live Draft:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/re-zero-arc-4-78-18586504

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Next Chapter: https://translationchicken.com/2018/05/05/rezero-arc-4-chapter-78-a-voice-that-was-about-to-cry-part-1-2/

 

144 thoughts on “Re:Zero Arc 4 Chapter 77 [All Alone……] (Part 2/2)

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          1. meh reading it is not that bad but if this was animated arrgggg the non stop childish bitchiness would be annoying asf. i gotten used to the witches 1 dimensional personalities n of i am perfect your the one with issues. i still think of dona as a necessary evil >i really do not think she is good its just that her actions are having a positive results despite being morally wrong. what i do not like about dona is that she could just use her book to guide subaru >heck she could just write to betty for fuck sackslike the words were coming from the witches >messy writing etc

            Like

  1. Well…

    Rem best girl 2016
    Satella best girl 2018?

    Rem still #1 best girl tho. Come at me if you will.

    In other news, fell off one cliff and caught onto another, as always -_-

    Thanks for the chapter!

    Like

        1. I got a better one why is rem?

          But honestly everyone is like “oh she is the best girlll so sweeet…” yhea just remember she friggin murdered Subaru? twice? He is ufcked up so he may have forgotten/forgiven but I won’t.

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          1. 1. She killed him once. 2. She also saved his life and his future many times more. 3. Barusu doesn’t need your forgiveness.

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          2. once the forest loop was ram >she is the one that cut his leg n throat. mansion rem. i guess u can say ram killed him after rem was cursed ko- too > she too did not trust subaru with their synesthesia she knew of rems feelings so if rem was gonna kill him of course ram knew and ALLOWED it to happen. they were both fucked up in the head

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          3. i fully get that rem in her mind was protecting her sister >does not really care at all at this point about anyone else< i say this knowing their background stories n them explaining subs death like it was nothing but the thing is they werent gonna do anything to him if he was not acting suspicious in the first place.

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          4. Right. She murdered him once and THEN SHE TORTURED HIM TO DEATH. Which is actually far worse. But sure, if you want to “dimnish” the gravity of the situation, you’re doing the best of works…not.

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          5. Emilia killed Subaru in one of the IF-chapters. So what?
            Ram and Rem could have killed Subaru for his bizarre behavior, but they didn’t. Now it’s nothing more than possibility that didn’t happen.
            “It’s the first time I met this guy, but he would kill me if I say I f*d his mom in his face a few times, so I hate him!” Sounds stupid, yes? But this is your point from a different angle.

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          6. @B-kun LOL you’re seriously talking about Ayamatsu aka Subaru the enemy N.1 who destroyed the kingdom and everything just to die at Emillia’s hands, just as planned? Are you really comparing this with what Rem did to him? First of all, what Emillia did in the IF makes sense, she has a very good reason for it. Secondly,it was part of the plan, so it stil is nothing like Rem’s violence. Thirdly the IF never happened. But what Rem did, did. From Subaru’s point of view, he was hated, murdered, tortured and insulted like the last asshole several times. Enough for him to cry like a ittle bitch, and do nothing for one entire loop. Until the stupid Rem gets killed by the dog curse that is.

            Like

    1. Satella already appeared on WN before the anime even released. So satella best girl 2018 is kinda… off the mark.

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    1. lol yeah all the witches are. they do what they want all the time no change because its in their nature then talk nonsense to sub trying to get him to change. also he has every reason not to like what is basically his kidnapper

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  2. Huh! Knew it! Giving him RTB was Satella’s way of keeping Subaru from harm. She didn’t even try to kill him for blabbering about the other girl in front of her. Satella might be a good girl after all.
    But really, what’s the point in getting to the perfect future if Subaru turns into a monster in the process?
    Still not clear what they want from him. How do you make one surpass himself on the spot?
    I mean, other than giving him the best-girl-declaration-of-love-speech?

    Like

    1. “what’s the point in getting to the perfect future if Subaru turns into a monster in the process?” If I could make the whole world happy by sacrificing my own morality, I would. It’s only natural and selfless.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Is it? The end justifies the means?
        The price we are talking here is more than just morality. By the end the very point of the journey will be twisted as well. Subaru said it himself – he wants “the world where everyone would smile” – that will make him happy.
        But what will make the Subaru who turns into a manipulating monster happy? What will drive him after his innocence, idealism, heroism burn out?

        Like

      2. Think about Kiritsugu from Fate/Zero. Such was a man who sacrificed all morality so that he could get a perfect ending. But he only really caused suffering, for everyone.
        But I think I disagree with Sekhmet here. Subaru isn’t a child throwing a tantrum – he’s courageous, persevering, and loyal, like a knight. What Satella and the witches are doing is an insult to all of what he has been doing. Telling him to value his life more, telling him to share his burden – these aren’t things he can do. He loves Emillia and Rem more than himself, and he won’t change. He has to take it all upon himself, unless some of the witches care enough to help. Nobody besides the witches and Rem understand him or can help him. Telling him to do impossible things without consideration for all that Subaru has been living and dying for – that is why I am so pissed at the witches right now. Not at Echidona tho, because she literally can’t feel emotions but the others I’m angry at.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. she does get happy yknow on rbd potential of experimentation which is sadistic to subaru. he is only throwing a tantrum because he was traumatized by all the deaths, hopeless situation, and rem being in a coma basically died. to say someones being a child over crying over a loved one i feel is wrong.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Totally agree with you WHo am I, that and the fact that teh guy was litteraly abducted from his reality and constantly tortured, be it physically or mentally. He can’t even talk to what he is going through with any others excets witches, and he is being used as a tool by more powerfull forces than himeself. He knows nothing of this world and is being humiliated, insulted and killed time and time again. And when he finaly get some resolves he is compared to a child throwing a tantrum? I’ll would totally dedicates all my time and lives (was I in his shoes) to make the witches suffer and regret thoses words.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Heck, in the long run, If I were Sub, I’ll even plot to manipulate those, all of the accursed witches, for ridiculing me by comparing me to a child throwing a tantrum. Who the fck are they to reject my ideals and insult me. Glad I wasn’t the only one that got triggered by those conversations….

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          2. yep n its a lot more manipulation then people are realizing.why listen to beings that do not give a fuck when they royally messed up the world. donas ‘results’ are mostly good but its so morally bankrupt as to be evil. minerva using her powers despite the fact it could destroy the world >explain in a bit. the witches are incapable of learning n growing but are prideful n condescending like children who do not understand anything.

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    2. well wait for a few more chapters, then you will know why satella summoned subaru in this world and what she really wants! its a pretty deep reason, just wait!

      Like

  3. I think a word is missing here, near the end “Like anyone would be bothered care what happens to a bastard like me!”

    Like

  4. Oh my fella chicken, oh my oh my!!!!
    Didn’t expect her to be soooo kawaii!!! All she wants is seeing him smile, truly smile and suffer no more. But how could he while being so fragile and weak? Considering when he reaches the optimal future, won’t his heart be too broken for a genuine smile then?
    Best tea party ever if you ask me
    Thanks deeply for all your hard work chicken sama 🐔

    Like

  5. I’m getting a bit dissatisfied here.

    The introduction of Satella might be nice and sweet but Subarus emotional state here is beginning to look an awful lot like a pattern and it’s becoming boring to me.

    Once again Subaru has a breakdown and is consoled by a (possible) love interest.
    First it was Emilia, then Rem and now Satella.
    Now, there is nothing wrong with that pattern itself, but to keep it interesting I would expect some noticeable differences. Variations that show that the story is not simply repeating itself.
    But right now, the characters of Emilia, Rem and Satella seem interchangeable; Subarus mental state seems copy pasted.
    He is still struggling with the price he has to pay to achieve the happy ending for everyone.

    Maybe there actually is a change between those three breakdowns of his but if so they appear so minute to me, they might as well not be there in the first place…

    Well, all my complaining aside: Thank you, chicken, for your continued passionate work on this translation. It is still one of the best Web/Light novels out there.

    Like

        1. If u realized during his 2nd trial, from all of subaru’s death, the people around him mourning and sad. Just as subaru doesn’t want anybody to get hurt, other people also don’t want subaru to get hurt. This is what satella was trying to tell subaru. But alas, deaths are inevitable for the weak subaru.

          Like

    1. Subaru never stop struggling with his situation so I don’t know why you think the story repeating it self here. Haven’t you at all been paying attention to his thought process throughout this arc, heck even since From Zero? Having RBD doesn’t nor has ever changed that he powerless. The difference now than pre-From Zero that his pride is no longer driving his actions instead his self-worth.

      Real Character Development is something that comes in multiple phases where a character overcomes deep-rooted problems. He’s emotional state was never fixed to begin with and losing Rem made it worse. He was simply on the road to recovery. Subaru and rest of cast are going to go one emotional or another depending on situation. That’s one of things that make Re:Zero good and not simplistic shounen.

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      1. Well, I don’t re-read the whole novel anytime a new chapter comes out, so I may have missed something, true…
        You say it’s not his pride anymore that drives him but his self-worth? Hmmm…maybe. Yeah, I can see how his motivation in the previous arc was kind of self-centered and how that has changed towards the end. (But I would not call it self-worth. Maybe more like compassion? His love for the ones important to him? His fear of losing someone (again)?)

        Thanks for explaining character development to me! 🙂

        Like

        1. Yeah, I meant lack of self-worth or loathing. Ever since the end of Arc 3 he’s just been beating himself up emotionally about his inadequacies and as result has been clinging on to anything that allows him to make a difference no matter what happens to him in the process.

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          1. he is not over what happened to rem and now everyone else is forcing their problems down his throat. emelia trial troubles, roshit bullshit, garf childishly imprisoning the residents, rabid bunnies, gut hunter, betty contracting. if anyone expects anyone to keep their sanity on this they are insane.

            Liked by 1 person

  6. So, weird thought, but hear me out. When Subaru first Isekai’d over into another world, he met a lonely silver haired elf girl who called herself Satella. He was, we now know, one of the first people to show her genuine kindness apart from Puck. He helped her out when she was in a bad spot, was kind to kids, and demonstrably just a good person. They proceeded to have a nice day out together, and given how so few people acted like that to her, she probably cared about him a good bit.

    And then, she and that boy died.

    I wonder if that “Satella” from Subaru’s first loop, and this Satella who is apparently an aspect of the Witch of Envy, are actually the same person? Maybe the despair of finally meeting someone who genuinely cared about her without judging her unfairly, only to have both of their lives end that night is what unlocked this envious witch gene? She wanted to have that sort of love for herself, and that was enough of a trigger for her latent witchdom? And that’s what kept her and him alive, and gifted Subaru with Return By Death from Loop 2 forward, so she wouldn’t have to lose him ever again.

    I could see Subaru and Loop 1 “Satella”‘s first day creating this broken and obsessed, but still obviously compassionate avatar of the Witch of Envy. Maybe she’s the only person who remembers Loop 1 Subaru’s deeds… heck, maybe she even sees his actions across all the loops, sees what he does for Alternate Emilias, and does Genuinely love him for what he does? Wouldn’t that be a fun twist. If the things Subaru sacrifices for others can never be known by anyone but her, and her love for him is based in a genuine appreciation for that… and yet he rejects her because “he doesn’t know her” and can’t see her face? It’d be a great inversion, when he feels the exact same rejection by the people he gives his life to save, who don’t remember his other lives and loops, or sometimes don’t “know” that part of him. They’d be perfect mirrors of one another, stuck in one-sided unrequited love, not knowing each other were there the whole time.

    Just to go with that… we know that the historical Witch of Envy and Satella are different people, maybe reincarnations of some sort via this whole Witch Gene thing, maybe something else. But we also know that Emilia has the potential to become this Avatar/Reincarnation of the Witch of Envy, after seeing that happen again in the sanctuary loop after Subaru spilled the beans about Return By Death. So, it stands to reason that this Satella we’re meeting now is another Emilia, perhaps that very same Loop 1 Emilia who fell for Subaru, here mucking with timespace with witchy powers so she and he never have to be separated again.

    Like

    1. Interesting theory, funny I’ve never really considered this being a possibility, such a sad dynamic for both parties to be stuck in a one sided love with EACH OTHER.

      Only hole in your theory is about the original Emilia’s name being satella. When Emilia originally told Subaru her name was satella she was surprised when Subaru didn’t react to the name itself. Even puck thought using that name was distasteful, implying satella was already an infamous legend when Emilia and Subaru first met.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, I wouldn’t suspect her name was actually originally Satella. She used that name as a test to see if it’d drive this guy away, and it didn’t work. But if timeline shenanigans are already at play, and since Satella and Emilia look weirdly alike, I could see this being some weird timeloop dealio where Emilia becomes “Satella” as someone who was confused for the original Witch of Envy, and her influence on the timeline inspires the antipathy everyone has for her earlier self or something.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. So, lying in the pool of blood on his very first day, Subaru sworn to save Satella no matter what. What if the original Satella “heard” his sincere plea, and basically pushed a contract on him, making him one of the “Bewitched”? That doesn’t explain why she would love him, though. Maybe she believe him to be her Champion, Knight or something?

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          1. Subaru said he will save her, he never mentionned Satella’s name (which he believed to be Emillia’s name at the time).

            Like

        2. the thing is she would have to had started that love loop herself. sub was transported to that world with rbd >she already loved him< maybe he is flugle-sage- a reincarnation of him who knows maybe subs body was taken over by flugel as a new vessel. guessing at random.

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          1. Subaru is the new flugel vessel, emilia is the new witch of envy vessel. Maybe subaru’s task is to prevent tragedy from 400 years ago from repeating.

            Subaru=flugel theory still has many flaws and unbelievable for me, but it can also be true.

            Like

  7. I wanna know more about Satella… and Subaru, you always make me doubt that you’re the right man for the perfect waifu (#teamRem)… anyways, thx 4 the effort

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      1. I agree. Nothing beats a pare of hairy legs. Wait! Does anybody shave in this medieval fantasy world?

        Now I’m curious

        Like

    1. This is this Path she took as the Witch of Sloth; observe, wait, and only act if necessary. It’s how I think of the Witches. Each has a Path that drives them. To gather all knowledge. To judge and punish. To watch and wait. To heal all injuries seen. To ensure there’s enough food. To promote love.
      I believe Satella as well had an intended Path. Based on her observed character, as well as her stated close relationship to Minerva, I believe she was Minerva’s counterpart. As Minerva abhorred physical injuries, Satella despised emotional injuries. Her Path should have been to heal emotional damage, but she ended up with Witch Genes incompatible both to her personality and her intended Path.

      Like

      1. good theory would explain the split personality or did her soul split in 2 idk. yes their original intent probably was good but was corrupted by the witch genes. maybe satella good/envy bad was split on purpose to weaken her uncontrollable, destructive powers. yknow like the 9 tails

        Like

      2. The way I see it is this: Satella, incorrectly getting the Witch Genes of Envy, was suddenly overwhelmed by something she’d never felt prior. Thus, for a time, she was Satella, driven by Envy, by desire to have what others have. And if we go with Subaru having been there then, he likely had a good, even close, relationship with the other Witches, then what we see here as an unconditional, selfless love, would turn into a consuming obsession and a drive to be the ONLY one he’s close to. Thus, downfall of the other Witches. It was only afterward that she was brought enough to her senses that she could willfully seperate her conscious self from Envy, literally walling her sanity off from her Witch Genes and the associated Obsession. What they call Witch of Envy has so far seemed just that: her distilled Obsession for Subaru.

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  8. This why some people in last chapter discussions shouldn’t jump to conclusions about everyone blaming Subaru for something. This isn’t about that at all or why Satella came. It’s confronting his martyrdom complex he’s developed and heavy relevance on RBD. Subaru is about to self-destruct from sacrificing himself and it why he easily almost got played by Echidna in signing himself away other desperation until Minerva stop.

    What Subaru needs to understand that not going be and for anyone if he’s not there with them or complete broken wreck. Emilia, Rem, Petra etc wouldn’t want that. He’s not get out this mindset he’s some loser nobody cares about and he’s only person do anything so he must carry everyone’s burdens alone. This kind of thinking is not healthy.

    Like

      1. Did you read the “Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality” by chance?
        Harry gave quite a dark and spiteful speech there about “jumping off a cliff and blaming injury on gravity”. You can’t expect others to change. The only variable you can change in the formula is you. It’s close to what Subaru believes, I think.

        If you can change but you don’t – it’s your choice. And the horrible outcome is your responsibility.

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  9. i like to know why sloth think she can call sub a child when she is the one that created the mabeast esp the big bad 3 then did not care at all of the mess she created nor bothered ‘cleaning it up’ is that not in itself childish behavior. or the other witches not learning anything n just saying idc its in my nature to be like this

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    1. That’s gluttony but yeah, witches are just a bunch of young girls with too much power inside them. We know what will happen if someone who dont know left to right is op af. Thanks to Satella they’re all dead

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      1. true i just like to know how they can judge any one when they messed up more then anyone n i have yet to read anything on them trying to atone for their ‘sins’ heck they wont even admit feeling any guilt whatsoever.

        Like

  10. Oh boy. I can’t help but find Satella’s exposition here absolutely patronizing, especially from Subaru’s perspective.

    Not only that, he’s breaking so delicately. Everything his body is doing in his reactions toward Satella is so unfamiliar, it feels like his body is lying to him. He’s rationalizing like he’s guilty of something, trying to cover his insecurity as if Emilia were in front of him. He’s falling apart as if Rem were there. My God, it’s his perfect nightmare.

    Satella’s demeanor here suggests gentleness, and her body language is reserved, in spite of being the Dragon of this story. He doesn’t even describe her voice as anything other than poison, but it truly must be the sweetest chime of a divine bell, because it’s melting his persona away, and exposing his shadow so clearly as her voice rolls over him.

    Man, how intoxicating is her voice to make him crumble so delicately?

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  11. I’m just feeling that this story is pulling a Danganronpa or sum like Subaru been in the world longer then he thinks. Maybe he meant satella in the past lost his memory when he went to the future

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    1. It’s going to feel a whole lot more like that soon. Don’t worry about the plot hole of “but he couldn’t have had his phone and groceries intact for 400 years”. There is an explaination for that being possible, or rather, for him having those things as if he’d only just arrived.

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      1. possible with rbd it travels his soul back in time. so maybe he spent a whole life time in this alternate world then traveled back to the exact same time he originally came to this world. the problem with that is that satella was already in love with him/ probably was the one teleported him/ gate/ witch genes. maybe a reincarnation of flugel tho pretty sure that would mean he was already a sage so thats a dumb theory. idk

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      2. Well… Then how could his memories that he has depict a society similar to Kararagi, but with such a vast jump in technology? That would suggest his memories were fabricated to a ludicrous degree.

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  12. Ty for the chapter chicken, as always I’m greatful for the continuation of the story.

    Also, I now get to yell “I CALLED IT” to my fiancé because of this update. From episode 6 of the anime(right after Rem kills him the first time) I called that this witch was probably a good person/entity. She disagreed. This chapter has fulfilled my life’s work of being right vs her.

    THANK YOU GODS OF LIGHT NOVELS!! *prostrates*

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  13. that is just so sad 😦 i agree with satella he have to take care better of himself, he will not last long else

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  14. This chapter be like

    [Satella]: Cheer up, Subaru. Let me make one of the most heartfelt speeches in recent media to make you feel better, cementing me as best girl!

    [Subaru]: WOW! I’m all better now! 8D

    [Satella]: Also, I love you! 8D

    [Subaru]: FUCK YOU!!! I love Rem and Emilia! 8D

    #Rem&Emiliatherealwaifus

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    1. Let’s be honest, there has yet to be a speech to rival Rem’s.)

      Satella… feels different. Unlike Rem who just acts on faith and empathy, Satella knows for sure what Subaru went through. I doubt she will have the guts to tell him it’s gonna be okay.

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    2. Cheering people up is not a skill that belongs to one person and anyone can do it as long as they care and have empathy.

      Subaru is not all better now either, Satella is not doing what he expects, she is allowing him to throw his frustrations and despair at her for everything he’s been holding inside up till now if will make him feel better. To stop putting aside his stress and consider his own feelings more.

      It has nothing to do being a waifu or not. This showing us and him that the actual Satella and not her split-personality cares about his well-being is not interested him for her own sake as much as her fragmented existence will allow.

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    3. “Do you ever get that feeling of deja voo?
      (Ever get that feeling of) Deja voo
      (Dya ever get that feelin’ of) Deja voo
      (That feelin’ of ) Deja voo”
      “NO! I never get that F¥çkin’ feeling of Deja voo!”

      Liked by 1 person

    4. Well… Sorta.

      He certainly acts as though Satella is a presence on the level of Wife-Tier.

      It’s like a mixture of Emilia and Rem, because he’s completely open here. He’s talking himself in circles, trying to save a little face and conceal(i.e. how he acts in front of Emilia), and his emotions are volitile enough to where he’s breaking down(i.e. Rem)

      She’s like his complete nightmare.

      Like

  15. Just recently caught up to this chapter today, after binged reading it after watching the anime, love it! I was wondering what arc 5 and 6 have to do, or when to read it? Since arc 5 starts at chapter 39 and arc 6 starts at c33, confusing me a bit. Thank you!

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      1. For example arc 5 starts at chapter 39, should I just start from there? or is there 1-38 somewhere, I dont mind the spoilers

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        1. There is 1-38 somewhere but it’s so bad. I suggest you wait for chicken to finish arc 4 though. Don’t become like all those vultures who harass him. And I imagine it’s bad for him too because he only reads what he translates.

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  16. Wow! what an amazing read. I went back and read it twice even before I started reading the comment section. This one of those chapters that perfectly demonstraits what makes re zero amazing.

    Even though it may seem like Subaru has been down introspective road before, he is still fighting his demons and his faliure to save Rem only made things worse. Because of what happened to Rem, Subaru felt even more compiled to put everything on his shoulders, dispite everything he learned to accept about himself just before that.

    I also think what the author is doing with Satella is super interesting. She is not shown as evil or good. Satella longing for an emotional connection and for some unknown reason she has pointed that longing in Subaru’s direction. Its nice to see her from a more sympathetic angle.

    Excellent as always Chicken! Thnak you for your hard work and can’t wait for next time.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. WHO THE FUCK HAS A CHILD THAT TAKES THAT MUCH RESPONSIBILITY? and can you fucking blame him for being fucking emotional if he has to die many many times in fucking brutal ways? These witches can shut the fuck up. their metaphors dont make any sense and there just being dicks to Subaru.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. true also one of the main reasons he is having a break down is because of the witches themselves their not really helping him at all. dona tricked him into using rbd repeatedly saying their was no limit that he should experiment to find the correct path then forces him into the second trail forcing him to see the consequences of his deaths. that was fucked up. he was asking for help n advice not to play mind games.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Lord chicken, i have a great pun specifically thought of for the next chapter!
    just something to look forward for in the comment section.

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  19. anyone else feeling a tinge of emilia’s kindness from satella? besides if the witch and satella aren’t the same maybe just maybe there is a chance that even subaru himself….ah nevermind

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    1. That even Subaru himself what? Well, it’s sad you’re an anon so you’ll probably never see this comment. Well.. not like I’m one to talk anyways…

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  20. are you suggesting that subaru isnt subaru, But is an astro projection of the real subaru in a dream like state over 100 million light years away on earth where the real arch bishop of pride, Lucifer, resides?
    that could explain his horrific transformation in the second trial.

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      1. I’m being over creative. It’s not even a real theory either.
        What I meant was that the Subaru we’re seeing not is actually a ‘Doll’ created by Satella.
        I got the idea after watching Mirai Nikki(future diary). Remember Aru? Well Sub-Aru. Like substitute. Or to exist as a substitute.

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    1. what i meant was that considering there are countless possibilities spanning over the vast gaps of time & space there are likely many versions of each of the characters we have seen so far. so considering that and the fact that the witch genes tend to pass on, should a previous self dies another can be replaced provided that vessel has the same qualities, attributes and mindset. this applies to both satella and subaru. one of whom likely died saving their beloved while the other struggled for hundred of years cursed with immortality and living in a body possessed by envy’s witch genes only to accumulate enough power to bring back to her the person she cherished. this was actually confirmed by the opening of the anime with many subaru’s lying dead while every time a new one takes its place.after all legend’s are made of the countless sacrificial pawns, even if the pawn is the same person’s another version. then again just thinking out loud.

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  21. Ohayo mina

    Je voudrais savoir ce qu’a voulu dire Subaru ” je ne serais pas capable de protéger une seule chose importante pour moi ” . J’ai une petite idée mais je voudrais en n’être sur. Arigato🙏🙏🙏🙏👬

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    1. Pour protéger les personnes qui lui sont importantes, il doit se jeter dans des situations très dangereuses où le risque de mourir est très grand. Puisqu’il est faible. Alors en abusant de “shinomodori”, il peut trouver un moyen de survivre, et de sauver ceux qui lui sont chers. Le problème c’est qu’en retour, il meurt beaucoup. Il voit ça comme son seul moyen, son seul recours. La petite corde qui lui permet de régler tout problème. Il pense que s’il ne prend pas soin de lui même, s’il fait plus attention à sa vie, il ne pourra plus sauver ceux qui lui sont chers.

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      1. Arigato.
        Je pensais qu’il parlait de Émilia lorsqu’il dit de protéger la chose la plus importante pour lui. Je suis un peu déçue.

        Like

  22. This Words Turn my Bad day into a Greatest day ever lmao…Double meaning you witch! 🙂
    [Satella: ――Love yourself… a little more]

    Like

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