Re:Zero Arc 4 Chapter 77 [All Alone……] (Part 1/2)

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Translator: TranslationChicken

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Editor: TranslationChicken

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ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO TAPPEI NAGATSUKI, THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR OF RE:ZERO, THIS IS A TRANSLATION OF THE FREE JAPANESE WEB NOVEL INTO ENGLISH
JAPANESE WEB NOVEL SOURCE: HTTP://NCODE.SYOSETU.COM/N2267BE/244/

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Previous Chapter: https://translationchicken.com/2018/04/27/rezero-arc-4-chapter-76-%E2%89%A0satella-part-2-2/

ARC 4

THE EVERLASTING COVENANT

Chapter 77[All Alone……]

 

How to describe the impact that shocked through Subaru’s entirety the moment he heard that confession of love?

He felt the illusion of a bolt of lightning piercing him from head to toe.
Every pore of his body opened as goosebumps carpeted his skin, while the blood coursing through his veins seethed to a virulent boil. The thumping heartbeats in his chest flushed him red from the neck-up, as, roughly panting, Subaru stumbled one step backward.

He couldn’t stand there any longer.
If he kept standing there, his breaths would reach her, his fingertips would reach her.
If he didn’t get away from her now while he could still keep his instincts in check, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself.
And if that happens, Subaru would be swept away by “Love”――

[Subaru: Stop……]

[Satella: I love you]

[Subaru: Please, stop……]

[Satella: I’ve always, will always, love only you]

[Subaru: I told you to stop――!!]

Shaking his head and swinging his arm, Subaru wrested his attention away from her hot, entangling gaze.
Still, Satella’s expression remained invisible to Subaru. And so, he couldn’t tell just what emotions were harbored within those eyes.
Yet the feverish pounding in his chest showed no signs of abating.

Only by consciously suppressing that feeling, desperately crying out, thrusting her with that rejection as if he was spitting out blood, could Subaru manage to preserve his fundamental self. If he didn’t maintain this effort to keep himself conscious, he was certain that his very existence would distort. And that thought terrified him to no end.

Blatantly rejecting her, flinging his open disgust, and slapping her with that truth, Subaru screamed, while Satella only stood there as before.
Her unseen expression remained behind a veil of darkness. Indiscernible. Impossible to read. And yet, somehow, Subaru could tell that Satella was being injured by those words, and was now casting down her gaze. Somewhere within his heart, was an urge to caress her hair, console her to ease her pained expression, and whisper her his love so that perhaps she might smile again.

Even as he tried to reject it, his heart was insisting that he “Loved” Satella.

[Subaru: Wh…… what are you!? What did you do to me!? Like Return by Death… did you put something in me to manipulate my heart!?]

Subaru poured all of his distrust for his disobedient heart at Satella.
Just why was his heart suddenly reacting in a way that was utterly contrary to his understanding? If this overwhelming emotion inside him was also the doing of this unnatural Witch, then that’d be simply far too horrifying.

Twisting people’s hearts to one’s will―― would be the lowest, most abhorrent act.

The first glimmer of light Natsuki Subaru ever received in this world was his “Crush” on Emilia.
Lost, and without a heading in that initial desperation, he was indebted to Emilia for extending him her hand, and his memories still told of her rescuing his heart just when it was all but abraded away. Even now, her existence had not lost even a fraction of that luster.
Over the days he spent repeating the loops starting from Death, fighting alone through countless adversities, the number of precious people he wanted to protect had only grown, while the words, bonds, and feelings he shared with them slowly accumulated inside him.
By now, he could no longer say that his feelings for Emilia was his primary motivation.
But even so, Emilia was still the first ray of light Natsuki Subaru had received. And now Satella was demanding that same “Crush” for herself.

Even though there was no word exchanged, no touch of warmth, no time spent together, no bond accrued, and nothing whatsoever shared between them, she was demanding “Love” from him.

What could one call this, if not heinous?

[Subaru: You, and Echidona…… you’re both insane! This…… this place is just full of incomprehensible bastards! I’m fucking sick of it!]

To the faceless Witch in front and the white-haired Witch behind him, Subaru screamed without hiding his disgust.
Satella, who sought to extort from him this baseless affection, and Echidona, who would entangle others to sate her devious curiosity, were both monsters beyond Subaru’s understanding.

[Echidona: It’s rather upsetting to be lumped together with that thing. Even though we are both technically Witches, to me, that is a vulgar creature several magnitudes below Witches. But, “Incomprehensible”, now you’re not wrong there]

[Subaru: Just shut up. You pretend to be friendly, but I haven’t forgotten how deceitful you are. ……Enough. There’s no point in me staying here. Let me out. I don’t wanna be involved with you people anymore!]

Cursing at Echidona, Subaru hugged his head and pleaded to be freed from her Dream Citadel.
He couldn’t stand another second in front of Satella and Echidona. There were enough things Subaru needed to worry about, now was not the time to be looking for more.
He wasn’t omniscient, and there was a limit to how much he could handle. Yet why do the problems keep mounting, one after another, when the obstacles were already so stacked against him?

[Subaru: I’ll never ask for any of your help again… All the problems outside, I’ll deal with them myself. ――That’s how it’s supposed to be, isn’t it!? That’s what I should’ve done from the start……]

[Minerva: And then? So it’s back to dying over and over, making heaps of people cry while telling yourself “This is information-gathering, there’s no helping it”? Heh, good for you]

Minerva crossed her arms and snorted at Subaru’s words of definite parting. Then, seeing Subaru return her a glare, Minerva’s unruffled face reddened,

[Minerva: What. Got something to say for yourself?]

[Subaru: Like it has anything to do with you. The pain, the anguish, the wounds, the abrasions because of Return by Death, all that’s got to do with is me! What right do you have to complain about it!?]

[Minerva: It’s easy for you to say that you’re ready for the pain, the suffering, and the anguish. Who cares about the feelings of those who have to watch you spew blood while your flesh gets flayed and your bones get crushed? You can always use the excuse that you’re the one who’s suffering the most]

[Subaru: What……!?]

[Minerva: Just because you’re taking on the most obvious, most visible wounds, you think the ones who receive lighter wounds as the results of your actions have no right to say anything. After all, you’re the one who’s hurting the most. Suffering the most. Enduring the most…… And so, naturally, the others around you should just shut up with their snivelling, right?]

Perhaps because of the rage building up as she spoke, Minerva’s tone intensified as Subaru bared his teeth. There was just no way Subaru could let those merciless words go unanswered.

[Subaru: You! You think I’m getting drunk on my own tragedy just so that I can shut everyone else up!? That this dead-end road I’m walking is just a fucking act!?]

[Minerva: No, that’s not what I’m saying. All I’m telling you is that thinking “It’s alright as long as I’m hurting more than anyone else” is cowardly. I’m not a fan of Echidona’s devious methods, and I can’t for the life of me understand how roundabout Satella is…… but I think the way you twist things is way more sickening than us Witches]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Minerva: Above all, while I beat everything in order to heal them, the way you live is not only the opposite, but the antithesis of what I do. ――Isn’t that just way too ungrateful for what she’s doing for you?]

Holding out her small fist at Subaru, Minerva huffed out those words. Adding that quiet whisper at the end, she turned her blue eyes towards Satella.
Still standing there as before, Satella had stayed silent ever since Subaru showered her with his abuses, and made no indication of affirming or denying those words. Seeing this, Minerva narrowed her eyes, somewhat sadly.

But Subaru couldn’t care less about their sentimentality at this point.

[Subaru: Sickening…… ungrateful……?]

Catching Minerva’s last few words, with his face downcast, Subaru’s shoulders slightly trembled. The tremble grew larger, and, when Subaru lifted his face again, he was smiling.
It was far too ludicrous, how could he help but laugh?

[Subaru: The hell is that. Sickening or whatever… and just why do you think I chose to be like this? How did you think I got to this so-called twisted way of thinking? Whether it’s my methods or my mindset… isn’t that just the natural consequence of the fucking hand I was dealt!? ――Isn’t it!?]

[Satella: ――――]

[Subaru: And it was you! YOU! You were the reason I became like this!!]

Shrieking, Subaru threw all his rage at Satella, who had kept her silence up to now as if to escape her culpability.

 

 

 

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Next Part 2/2: https://translationchicken.com/2018/05/03/rezero-arc-4-chapter-77-all-alone-part-2-2/

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Oooh I’m loving this chapter… >_<

Let me know if you find any typos!! ❤

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Chapter 77 Live Draft:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/re-zero-arc-4-77-18489314

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Next Part 2/2: https://translationchicken.com/2018/05/03/rezero-arc-4-chapter-77-all-alone-part-2-2/

 

164 thoughts on “Re:Zero Arc 4 Chapter 77 [All Alone……] (Part 1/2)

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    1. Hey can you tell me if I should read arc 5 and 6?
      Why is it being released ahead? ( no spoilers please)

      Thanks

      Like

      1. Sorry for answering so late.

        If you have yet to be spoiled of any events that take place after Arc 4, it would be in your best interests to put Arc 5 and 6 on hold.

        The reason Chicken is translating them is partly because of his own curiosity, but also because some fans really wanted him to translate those specific chapters.

        Like

  1. Ty for the chapter!!! XP

    BTW, wouldn’t it be crazy if Subaru was a witch? I mean he does have some incomprehensible power that has popped up like twice in the series, and his personality may be one of the deepest I’ve seen in anime/light Novels, like Minerva said, he’s quite messed up in the head just like the witches. Just food for thought

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    1. It would cause all the witch sins are taken already, and if he was one would he be called a wizard instead of witch?

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        1. I want to say warlock, but it would still be witch! the image of Subaru in a frilly black dress and a pointy hat riding a broom is too much to ignore.

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          1. exactly she does not have a cultist gene /archbishop/ as said by petel all of them are counted for except for pride which most people assume subaru is /also petal did/ i like to think his opinion on the matter counted /?>?/<

            Like

    2. I don’t think that he’s a witch. I think that he’s the remaining arch bishop.

      But twice in the series?

      I remember that time that he fought with Garfiel, but what was the other time?

      Liked by 1 person

    3. “That power” you mention is the invisible hands he used against garfiel i assume. If that is so, then he has those cause when he killed betealguese, he got the witch seed thingy. Betty mentions it once. He later get’s those black invis hands permenantly, as told by my japenese friend. As for his personality, what can i say. He died a lot. It’s bound to cause some mental rebound, no? And your idea about him being a witch is fundamentally wrong; he is a being supported by a witch, hence not a witch (i think that’s how it works?). If he was one, then his life would be a bit easier though.

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      1. supported by a witch/ a cultist is what he would be if he was following satella but he is using her power which seems to have awaken its hands power probably by the attempted possession by petel.

        Like

  2. Honestly, I was waiting for this outburst and Im glad that it happened.
    It’s a very natural and humane reaction and I commend the author. It’s nothing special and innovative but nice to read.
    I also hate how the witches and the people from this world (the opinions of the people from this world are forgivable, but not the witches that know the truth) downgrade Subaru’s thoughts and his perspective on stuff and then Subaru ranting to finally deny what others think was amazing.
    In the past, we see how people reprimand Subaru’s thought process, but he never interjects because he know can’t explain or do anything because they won’t understand without him revealing rbd.
    So yeah, the witches knowing and him being able to talk about his true thoughts in this rant was very satisfying.
    I repeated myself a lot here, but nevermind that.

    Long long time lurker btw :p

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Hey there fellow ex-lurker!

      I guess this is why Re-Zero is, till now, such a great read. It might not have enough action for the typical anime lover’s taste, not much romantic interactions, but the lines are real, the situations, albeit their fantasy theme, are much much relatable in the real world.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. U want more actions? Read arc 5. Better arc war than the war againts the white whale. Well there were less soldiers though because only the big shots fighting.

        Like

    2. I’d halfway agree. But Subaru didn’t consent to any of this. He’s taking it upon himself to stop the chaos. Here, he’s being chastised for doing something he shouldn’t be able to do. Being unable to die, to suffer so silently because he’s taken it upon himself, both willingly and unwillingly. Of course there have been things he’s learned, but at what cost? This reality is backwards because of Satella. He should have been dead and gone holding Emilia’s hand in the shack, the first time. I can sympathize, and the Minerva thinks herself morally superior.

      From my perspective anyway. I could be wrong. We know nothing about the witches lives, aside from Dona

      Like

        1. That’s very exciting. I’ve been trying to keep up, but reading Japanese takes a lot of time for me. I can speak, but reading when your first language is English is hard. Vast difference. Having a good reference for Kanji is hit-and-miss.

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      1. I think what Subaru says about Satella loving him even though they don’t know each other or have done a lot with each other is highly hypocritical when that’s exactly how he is with Rem and Emilia.

        The way i think of it is that Emilia is Satella from when she was young, she lived her entire life with subaru, then something happened where she had to go back and give subaru return by death so that she can have the life she had with him. And the first incarnation of Emilia was Satella from the future so that subaru will want to help her.

        I know that this prediction is probably wrong, but i feel like it’s good enough to think things through.

        Like

        1. I wondering is Subaru asked for R.T.D. as part of a contract with Satella but can’t remember it due to conditions in the contract.

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          1. That’s actually highly possible, perhaps Subaru and Satella had a loving relationship, but part of the contract for the Return by Death is that he forgets about Satella.

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        2. How is it hypercritical? Subaru didn’t apporach either going a love x20 without a single interaction from yhe very begining. It’s only very recently he told Emilia his feelings are spenting two months with her. Same with Rem.

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          1. he asked to go on a date with her n flirting constantly it was obvious to everyone but emelia who was focusing on the election so he did not want to be a burden to her. n rem he tried letting her down then finally accepting her love

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          2. None of that is close to having your emotions literally manipulated by love magic like what’s going right now. If Emilia didn’t like Subaru’s flirting she didn’t have to respond, but they go along well. by contrast he never talked to Satella until now. Emilia also had no idea he was even love her until Arc 3, while Satella or WoE sing since day one as if he supposed to fall her right now.

            We don’t know what kind of relationship Satella had Suabru in the past if possible maybe reincarnation of him, but it’s entirely natural Subaru reject Satella at the moment.

            Just becasue she focused on Royal Selection doesn’t mean Emilia cna’t do anything else or have time fro leisure anyway. It’s not every waking part of her life. So think Anon is right here.

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        3. Yeah, that’s what I believe so as well. It’s highly possible that Subaru just can’t remember Satella, or perhaps it is as you say, that Satella is a future incarnation of Emilia who gave Subaru the power to Return by Death.

          Also, I know Subaru went to a lot of horrible things, but as I said a few chapters ago, I still feel bad for Satella. Not only does the world hate her, even her most beloved hates her.

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          1. “even her most beloved hates her.”

            He doesn’t. That chapter repeated it again. He is forcing hate against his “rebellious heart who is telling him he loves her”.

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          2. “His rebellious heart is telling him he loves her”. He is for cing hate on his heart to “hate”. He doesn’t hate.

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      2. minerva is just being a hypocrite to me i mean he is trying to prevent suffering not just healing whoever gets hurt. its like she is only mad cause he is the one getting hurt n trying to save others. would she be happy if he was avoiding suffering to let others die? i dont get it

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    3. i also like to point out the hypocrisy of the witches yknow the ones entirely responsible for everything yet sitting back watching acting like it has nothing to do with them and still think they can reprimand people that are trying their damnest just to survive the insanity caused by them. esp dona ordering roshit n poor betty all alone fuck em.

      Like

  3. I was wondering for how much longer he would be able to put up with all these witches. tbh, the end of this chapter was reallly satisfying to read.

    Like

  4. Found a typo! (i think)
    Shaking his head and swinging his arm, Subaru *wrestled* his attention away from her hot, entangling gaze.

    Like

  5. Ah Subos finally broke. I’m really wanting to know how Satella will react to his accusations. XD

    Thank you for the chapter chicken-dono ❤ (\^~^)b

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  6. I mean… isn’t it also true that RbD is the only thing that is allowing him to reach the perfect future? After all he would be dead if it wasn’t for it… so I kinda think that he should be a bit grateful to Satella instead of being so angry at her… I understand that it is also because of his authority that he got to feel so much pain but still..

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    1. One thing to not is that rbd is an ability that allows him to rewind time. Even though it’s thanks to Satella that he has this ability, it’s a double edged sword. As gruesome as it is to activate (with him having to die in order to activate it), he has the literal ability to change history without causing a time paradox. However, if he fails to save his friends and change the future, he is forced to witness and experience the consequences over and over. As much of a utility and a blessing as rebirth by death( yes I’m calling that) is, in many ways its more of a curse. Although what Satella gave to Subaru saved him a lot of times, could you really blame the guy for being resentful to her?

      Like

      1. But also we are missing something: Subaru never asked for any of this, it took so much time and effort for him to come to terms with his situation and embracing this new world he was transported to, he had to accept so many messed up things and lost hope many times, now hearing all of those words that are spewed against him would piss anyone. But, yes, it is true, Subaru’s personality is twisted by this point, there is no going back, and he could be seen if not more, the same as witches, their way of thinking is exactly the same, they fight for their beliefs against all odds, and in doing so they do not take the most “morally and ethically” correct choices.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Agreed. What choice did he have? He’s been forced into fighting because of love and circumstance. Like Ive been saying, he shouldn’t even be here. So what else can he do? I can sympathize with him. Being raked over the coals for doing the only thing he knows by a completely separate party is unfair, to say the least.

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          1. I also thing both side have decent points here. Subaru has developed a martyrdom complex and he’s being called out on it, but at sametime it’s understandable that’s this way. He’s struggled on his own his knowledge for so long, it’s been only he’s been able to cope with dealing with near impossible odds he’s faced.

            Liked by 1 person

        1. Huh? Did you forget what happened in the 3rd (49-51) loop when WoE swallowed/eroded the whole sanctuary? Or when she killed Emilia? She has inflicted plenty suffering on her own, it’s not just circumstantial.

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          1. …And? I am not justifying anything. What she has done, she has done it. But it was Subaru’s fault for stupidly revealing about RbD. Especially to motherfucking ECHIDNA. And “his friends” is a little…huh…subjective? here. Garfiel sure wasn’t his friend at that time. The Lewes are nothing but empty clones. Ram doesnt give a shit about him mostly, just following Roswaal like a little slave. And whatever happened to Roswaal in that loop, I’m glad he got fucked up by the witch (presumably). The only reason why Subaru should be pissed off about that sanctuary loop, is that Emillia was possessed by the witch, had possibily her consciousness of everything the whole time, and seeing Subaru commit suicide as a last resort.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. I never claimed Garf was his friend, but Ram and everyone else certainty is moreso than Miss heart grabber and crusher. Even the other witches don’t like WoE.

            Subaru knows jack about the contract and was forced him. How the hell do you get yourself to spin this so much as blame the victim here? There is no excuse for killing his friends and forcing her will on him. They are much closer to thim then she has even been towards them.

            RBD controls him as much as saves him and anytime Subaru does something WoE doesn’t like trying come close to reason why he has this ability, she tells him shut up. She treats him like her prisoner and strips his ability for consent and doesn’t allow learn about his situation at all.

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          3. Satella might not have meant for it turn out like that, but that how the WoE persona using their relationship.

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          4. Well, sure. Subaru’s a victim from start to finish right? A victim that is profiting fully and entirely on his own misfortune forced on him by the big bad witch.

            Let us have Subaru say fuck off to RbD and any of its advantage, then in this scenario, I will fully agree with you. Until then, he has no right to criticize the stupid witches for doing exactly what he is doing personally and talk shit when he’s oblivious to all.

            Also, what stops the other witches from revealing everything to him? Echidna sure seems to know quite a few things. Why the hell doesn’t she tell him, or rather, why the hell doesn’t he ask if he wants to know so much? Why is he avoiding certain topics or questions? Why is he not inquiring? And now, why is he not ASKING to the witch herself, she’s there. Instead he is just blaming her for everything. Crying like a little bitch because his Rem isn’t here to tell him how much of a awesome hero he is.

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  7. Damn this is so real. It’s been quite some time since I could approve Subs thoughts and this time they are the same as what I would’ve say if I was there.

    Thank you Chicken ❤️

    Like

  8. “you think the ones who receive lighter wounds as the results your actions have no right to say anything.” as the results of* your actions?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You can always use the excuse that you’re the who’s suffering the most]

    It’s supposed to be “the one who’s suffering the most]”, isn’t it?

    Also thanks for your great work Chicken, and for always bringing us these chapters

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Very nice chapter! Thank you very much chicken-sama for the effort.

    I really love it when Subaru finally snapped. I mean Subaru is just human and considering what he had experienced so far, I think when he was fed up about a the witches did is the most natural reaction for Subaru.

    Like

  11. Satella dont deserve those words. Subaru just decided to hate her out of nowhere after all. In the first place , it was Subaru’s fault for breaking some rules of the contract of RBD.

    Yes, I think RBD is a contract between Subaru and Satella. Because something like RBD cant happen without both party’s consent. Maybe Subaru just doesnt remember forging a contract like that and also about Satella.

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      1. Do we even have proof she’s the one who “dragged him to that world”? Thinking about it now it sounds really preposterous.

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    1. Bro, it’s like saying you should thank your kidnapper for taking care of you. It’s the witch’s fault for abducting the dude and teleporting him into another world away from his loved ones. + He has no choice but to watch his new friends suffer and die over and over again and try to save them, he can’t even die himself. That’s not something you can do to a normal human being.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. true but your not gonna talk any sense to the other half of chickens masochistic followers. she also killed him herself n emelia once for talking not to mention taking over her body n massacring everyone but yeah if she s,cks their d’cks they be happy

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  12. Subaru… You’re right.

    His understanding follows this:

    “You think I asked for this? It’s one thing to be ripped from the very reality I know, my parents, all of it. However uneventful and full of resent for myself, it was all I had. But now, forced to become apart of a world foreign to me, endowed with a curse that breaks me with every death, you tell me that I’M making others suffer? You’d do it better? If it were up to me, I should have died back then, the very first time, while holding the hand of the only light I’d ever known in this world. At least then, it would be over. But again, I can’t truly die. I’m forced to make use of this power, and admittedly, I could do it better. But now, I stand accused of being selfish, of playing the victim. At least in trying, in spite of myself. Who made it this way, made me unable to die, and watch the people close to me be ripped to pieces? I shouldn’t even be here.”

    I get it. Truly. Who is Minerva to tell you that you’re the problem, when death presents the possibility of change?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yeah, but minerva wasn’t at fault either. Subaru could just behave like normal people or citizen living a casual life, but instead he grew greedy and want to play hero by saving everyone dear to him no matter what.

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      1. I get that. I wasn’t saying she was, or that she’s not correct. I was merely saying that having such expectations is completely ignoring the complete compulsion of Subaru’s place in the world. As far as greedy, what else could he cling to? The world is foreign, and the only thing he knows is his affection for those that surround him. THEY are his world, his only willed connection to a world where he shouldn’t exist, as far as he can gather. Maybe he doesn’t think that as a character, but that’s the bare-bones situation.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I agree. At this point, you have to think from the perspective of Subaru, who was just thrown into this world so suddenly. It’s hard to believe that a “normal” person could just shrug off the death they just experienced and act like nothing happened. I would have to say that “greed” is also a poor choice of words for someone that just wants to help others avoid their demise.

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          1. Precisely. It’s unfair to think he’s being unreasonable, when by all accounts he shouldn’t exist in this world. But there is a case to be made about how he feels about himself, but I think it’s far-fetched. He’s at least growing, and his disregard for his life is a product of Satella’s doing. She ultimately led him to that conclusion. I feel it’s irresponsible to saddle Subaru with guilt, even if Minerva and the Witches have a point.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. i think anyone would turn out this way with rbd with seeing your loved ones die repeatedly its the witches fault this world is like this to begin with so for them to say this is just wrong.

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          3. So far I can see only one thing Subaru does wrong – it’s that he blames everything on himself. Why does he hate himself so much while being loved so by others? Is it the only way for him to overpower his will to live?

            Like

          4. B-kun, as sad as that is, he hates himself SO much because he has incredibly low self-esteem. Most people seem to have not caught on to the fact that, aside from wanting to stand up in Emilia’s defense, the reason everything escalated so badly in the capital during the election is because when Subaru saw Juulius kissing Emilia’s hand before they went inside, he saw someone who he felt was actually -worthy- of Emilia – a knight, someone of high standing, noble, valiant, good-mannered. That’s the context of knight in our world these days, mostly. So when he said “I’m Emilia-tan’s best knight!”, what he MEANT was “I am the one who will stand by her side no matter what, I will fight for her ideas, I will help her, protect her and save her” – NOT that he is actually looking to step into an official position. Of course, since Juulius lacks this context entirely, he took it as the latter and put Subaru on the spot – which made Subaru lash out because again, he has very low self-esteem. We also have to consider that Subaru stepped out of the crowd AFTER he heard both Juulius AND Felix declare their loyalties – he then said “my feelings for Emilia won’t lose out to anyone!”. So again, in the context of his world, knighthood was more of a concept than a reality; a concept tied to love and all kinds of other noble ideas. Subaru is also very clearly an idealist [and, obviously, he had just heard people calling Emilia a devil and filthy – that definitely hurt him]. Basically, Subaru feels that if he saves enough people, if he tries hard enough, he’ll finally be worthy of love and happiness – and because of this psychological damage that started way before he got transported, he struggles to accept love and praise even when he receives it. We have to remember that during the First Trial, in the imitation world with his parents, he literally told his parents at one point “you probably hate me and are disappointed in me and wish I was never born”, pretty much. Of course this isn’t true in the slightest, but there you go, a prime example of the man’s depression and tanked self-esteem.

            Like

          5. @Bobby

            “its the witches fault this world is like this to begin with”

            ….Really? How is it her fault? Even if she really is the one who destroyed the world, which we have no real proof of, and even if she’s the one who “devoured” the other witches, how is everything her fault? How is she even doing anything? The witch cult cares nothing about her. Humans would still kill left and right for no reason. And Subaru would still suffer from having his “loved ones” get killed by some piece of shit, whoever it is, wherever it is, whenever it is. Blaming her by saying “everything is her fault” when we know absolutely nothing, is the worst thing one can do. This is what the characters in the story are doing. And it’s absolutely stupid.

            Liked by 1 person

          6. @Useless Fidgety Creature
            I commend you for great observation. I’ve been thinking the same thing actually and believe that scene in ep.12-13 is amazing in terms of character development. People do tend to just tag him “an idiot” for this sudden outburst, but it actually makes a lot of sense if you just try to think – why? The same goes for his disinterest in getting back home.

            The thing about him not hating the twins for taking turns killing him might actually come from this, too. He just doesn’t value his life that much to begin with. Deep inside he simply doesn’t believe there was any fault on their part. Ofc, there was. They wronged him horribly, but it wasn’t enough to make them his enemies. You can say he has big heart, others say he is a coward who pretends there was no offence to avoid conflict. The truth might me somewhere between.
            There were other people who killed him – the thugs, Puck, Elsa, Petel-kun, Garfiel (almost). Yet he only ever truly hated those who deliberately killed the others. Otherwise he goes “oh, I did something wrong and failed everyone”.

            “The only constant of all and every of your problems – is you.” Maybe it’s hard for people who never were through that phase to understand this way of thought.
            People with low self-esteem tend to blame themselves for every little thing that happens to or around them. Rem did that to herself as well. That’s one of the reasons why I find their pairing so great: two “failures” making the game-breaking combo.

            Like

          7. Yes, I think you’ve both hit it. Barusu is reminding me in some ways of Shouko from A Silent Voice.

            SPOILERS FOR A SILENT VOICE

            She was bullied and always suffered from her deafness, which if course is not her fault, but she somewhat convinced herself that it was all her fault for being deaf. That’s why she tries to kill herself. And that’s why I to some extent agree with both Shoya and Naoka for getting pissed at her. They can’t understand her lack of reaction, why she doesn’t fight back and always tries to be nice and friendly even when people are being mean to her. It’s the same thing with Barusu here: his self-loathing, the same that made him tell his parents in the mock-world that they must hate him for being a good-for-nothing (Colonel Mustang when it rains), which is something such wonderful parents would never do, but he could not see it because he to a large extent hates himself. And now, through suffering, for the first time he sees a chance of doing something he thinks worthwhile, but doesn’t realize that it’s not all on his shoulders just because he has RbD. To that extent, Sekhmet IS right, he’s just behaving like a little child who thinks the world revolves around him. Arthur Machen wrote it in The Great God Pan that both true saints and sinners would be insufferable to live with for any normal person. The only thing Barusu will get with thys martyr complex is hurt the very people he’s trying to save by taking everything on himself. And he is otherwise powerless, so he was to twist and manipulate other people to achieve his optimal path, like he did when he got poor Crusch & Co. to help him kill Moby Dick.

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          8. Anonymous///ok most of the problems are directly the witches fault. satellas followers have cultist books just like roshit the difference is their quality of orders the witches give them so yes satella is directing her cultist just like dona is doing with roshit >seriously why do i have to point that outcus ram left her alone following roshits orders> same day she gets att coincidence? mansion loop emelia gives him a lap pillow /rosswall makes an excuse n flies off capital roshit told rem to let sub go >she can sniff his ass like a blood hound you guys think she would just let him go if roshit did not say anything? etc all donas orders all of which made subaru suffer needlessly roswall at the very least KNEW IN ADVANCE. so yes it is mostly the witches fault

            Like

          9. I never denied the thing about Echidna tbh. And do you really believe Satella is responsible for what the cultists are doing? Were it be the case, none of them would mess with Subaru. The one manipulating the cult is someone else.

            Like

  13. Gotta say that this most recent translation was very nice to read. Always glad to get a notification from here. Thanks a lot Chicken!

    Like

  14. This chapter, I feel, could only be described by two things:

    A Character: [does something]
    The whole entire cast, pretty much: Understandable! They had reasons! Forgivable and fine!
    Subaru: [does something]
    The whole entire cast, pretty much: Appalling, disgusting, to be swiftly judged and hated, unforgivable, selfish. Unbelievable. How dare.

    And, “Blue Monday” by Orgy filling in as Subaru’s dialogue.

    “How does it feel?
    How should I feel?
    TELL ME, HOW DOES IT FEEL, TO TREAT ME LIKE YOU DO??!!”

    Like

  15. Oooh that was intense… I feel bad for Subaru, he’s gone through so much already, but, the way he broke down like that and lashed out, is just harsh. Now I feel sad for Minerva and Satella.
    Like how these last few chapters revealed much about the witches and how it changed my opinion about them..

    Thanks for the chapter Chicken!

    Like

  16. Most of the reasons to hate Satella/WoE just got shifted to just WoE. That is unless the things I assumed from this chapter gets disproved by the next chapter.

    Thanks for the chapter, Chicken…

    Like

      1. Well, there was a witch that looked like someone one wants to see the most… And here’s also a witch that instills love by her mere presence. Just saying…

        Like

        1. Who said she instills love with her mere presence? This is just Subaru’s assumption. Or rather, denial. It has nothing to do with Lust or whatever other “witchiness”. It’s only Subaru’s heart. This isn’t something the witch is doing.

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          1. And why should I believe otherwise? Is it clearly said, defined and proven? Of course, it isn’t. This is only Subaru talking shit, like he’s doing all the time. End of story. If she really “instilled love in him” then he would not act this way to begin with.

            Like

          2. He did show some resistance to the Authorities before, no?
            You can’t deny that the Envy has to do something with feeling, like the Lust. Unlike the Lust, who makes an illusion, the Envy might just Make people love only her. Subaru’s reaction to her words and his instinctive attempt to resist seam to point in this direction.

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          3. im with b-kun on this ok even if he had some kinda of past with her i /which i kinda doubt unless his soul went back months/ years if rbd is even capable of that so far only a week >assuming< if his memories are blocked/erased then he should not have strong emotions for someone he just met

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        1. agreed she only seems to be on subs side cus its annoying her kinda different then actually caring btw i know that you guys think she is the good witch cus her powers is healing but you dont know how her powers work n you obviously dont know that it was draining the earths core mana /something/ n that was causing horrible weather phenomena etc to happen as a result she killed as many as she healed n probably would have destroyed the planet >WHY she was the first witch to be killed.

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          1. Didn’t know that. Interesting. But makes sense. All the witches have to be psychopaths of some kind or other if they can only act/feel based on a single emotion, like Wrath having to heal everyone at any cost regardless or Greed having to satisfy her curiosity at any cost. And let’s not even mention Glutony!

            Like

      1. She’s just a bitch who lectures Subaru for doing his best. He can’t save everyone in one try, that’s a fact. She goes on talking about lost-cause realities’ versions of Subaru’s friends feelings. Bitch it doesn’t matter since everyone dies if Subaru dies. Yeah, he killed himself couple of times but that was before he knew the ability was dimension hopping instead of time travel.
        She’s just an ignorant bitch who only cares about feelings.

        And the Witch of Envy doesn’t just care but is obsessed with Subaru to the point where she selfishly brought him to her world and made him unable to die. Dick move. Wouldn’t really call that caring.

        Like

        1. Who said it’s dimension hopping? Because Echidna has a theory about it? Is this really the truth? How do you know this is even true? Why? When?

          And show us proof that the WoE is really the one who brought him to this world. As far as I can remember of these chapters, it is never clearly defined. It’s even stupid. How could she in th first place? Why? When? How? For what reason? How did she find his world? How did she even know about it? Why would she care about someone from some other world?

          Just because she’s probably responsible for RbD doesn’t mean she’s the one who brought him there. And even the RbD segment is dubious at best.

          Like

        2. I have an impression that was not what Minerva was talking about. She is against “information gathering” in particular. Personally, I don’t like this idea either.
          First Information gathering, then dispassionate observation, then experiments? Scientific approach to the fates of his people, treating himself as a disposable Petri dish? Not much different from what Dona has offered him, just with few more steps.

          Like

          1. Dona is a Vulcan with no moral checks? I mean, it would seem she’s rather devoid of feelings/only has the feeling she has learned intellectually from interactions with her experiments and so are fake? She completely fails to understand/caring for Beako’s suffering, for instance. On the other hand, Minerva seems incapable of understanding the value/importance of of suffering and selflessness. And all that is actually good writing, because Taipei is capable of showing the Witches as just what they are, purely. No mix-ups, like you get in Full Metal Alchemist, but a Witch that cannot care for anything but knowledge, a Witch that cannot care for anything but violence, a Witch that cannot care for anything but her love/obsession.

            Like

  17. Well, I’m looking at this from a storytelling, purely formal point of view. And it seems to me the author is so intent on making everything turn around Barusu that it’s getting rather annoying. I’m sure the next chapter Minerva or some other witch will find a way to keep blaming him for everything and make him “see” he was wrong and it’s all his fault in the end, as if he were something more than a victim of circumstances and a fool who thinks he can actually change things in this twisted world. And the reason I see for that is the constant need to make our male protagonist the center of the story.
    The only way I see for the narrative to improve is the theory somebody presented here that he is in fact Flugel and made a contract with the Witch of Envy that made him forget that/her and that his life on Earth was nothing but some temporary sort of fantasy, and thus this IS indeed all his fault. Otherwise, I wish the author would stop making everything be about Barusu, but I guess that’s too much to ask (on a side note, I have this kind of criticism about EVERY story where everything turns around a single character).

    Like

    1. I can see your point. I have this criticism often as well. In my opinion, especially concerning the circumstances of pSubaru’s existence in this world, it’s necessary to explain where Subaru’s mind is in all of this. Forcing Subaru to look at his shadow, albeit unfairly.. I feel this kind of writing presents the readers to look at Subaru, especially us males, as not just a blank slate to plaster our personas onto. Subaru is being made to be an interesting character in this arc, and the confusion of coming face to face with someone he’s never truly met, but loves him unconditionally, and the author of the misfortunes he’s experienced, would cause any socialized individual’s world spin. This escalation is accurate. Now, even if he were Flugel, and we were made aware this early, then this story would lose its flair, as the mystery of the connection with Satella is a huge part of this plot. This roundabout path in the plot is on its way to a huge payoff.

      Like

    2. Just wait until next couple chapters before you come to a conclusion. This isn’t about blaming him for the deaths if people around him.

      Like

    3. I agree with you Alexandre, however, I feel that rather than things being just too Subaru-centric (he is the main character, after all), the main issue here, (at least the one I’m having) is that the overriding theme to this story seems to be that everything is somehow Subaru’s fault in the end, that he’s somehow intrinsically a bad person or posesses some kind of inherit traits that would draw a creature like Satella to him. It’s very obvious in the First Trial chapters where I feel it was pretty much implied, through the extremely strong negative emotions he was having, that he was somehow a bad person for becoming overwhelmed, depressed and a shut-in in his original world. That is a very toxic mindset to have, but then again not too surprising considering Japan’s culture. But his parents were the first ones to accept and love him unconditionally, and also, frankly I think it’s bullshit that the First Trial chapters pretty much told us he won’t be going back to his parents. That’s just angst for the sake of it, and deliberately removing two people who’d be a HUGE emotional help for Subaru. And you know they’ve gotta be suffering as much as he is, I mean their son literally just went missing one day. Imagine. Nagatsuki is trying to tell us that in all this world of crazy freaking magic, there isn’t one single measly portal that could allow interdimensional travel? Yeaaah, I’m not buying it. Basically I just have a problem with piling this perverted amount of horrible problems on him, then EVERYONE blames him, keeps telling him how stupid and selfish he is (which he clearly isn’t, the man is absurdly noble and brave, I mean is he some kind of saint or something?! He’s snapped wayy too little for what he’s going through. I’ve always been on his side), then he continually blames HIMSELF as well. So it’s pretty much become self-deprication porn, to the point where people can now be on Satella’s side, some calling her ‘best girl’ just because she told Subaru to “love himself more”. Are we that desperate as a fandom for our MC to receive positive affirmation? When we’re willing to accept it from even the one who’s the literal root cause of each of his (and his parents’!) suffering, that is a really bad sign. Subaru deserves way better, but somehow I have a feeling a kind of half-assed happiness is the best hope we have to go for at the end of these novels (and a possible anime continuation). It just feels like Subaru is being used as an outlet for some kind of repressed sadism, receiving each of the blows one could think to give someone, with very little positives as a balance, and that’s not cool at all. Well, regardless of what happens with all this, I’ll just be writing my own story where everything goes as it should and our boi isn’t used as a punching bag for eternity.

      Like

      1. Well, Useless Fidgety Creature (and that’s one brilliant alias right there!), that was one great comment/analysis. Actually, I wanted to say something along those lines, but you have put it way better than I could. Yes, the story feels increasingly like torture porn at the expense of poor Barusu’s. I get the impression that’s just what the author wants and, even if he gives us a happy ending in the end (no guarantees there, after all given the amount of magical girls’ battle royale stories being produced since Madoka, like the current Magical Girl Site, it seems Japanese authors like torturing their characters, like the smoker woman writer in Re Creators), it will be at the cost of still more and more suffering for Barusu. I mean, yeah, I fell bad for Rem, for instance, but can’t forget she killed Barusu multiple times based only on vague suspicions. Emilia is certainly the most decent and innocent, if I can use this term, person he’s come into contact with so far. But all that has only served to increase his suffering, and it always pisses me off when he blames himself for everything. Sometimes I get the impression that he still deep down feels this is all just an RPG and as he’s the main player, it’s all his fault for not playing the game properly. Because most of the things that go wrong are definitely NOT his fault, but he goes and blames himself anyway. It was refreshing to see him blame someone else (who’s actually to blame, at least so far as he/us know) for a change.

        Like

        1. Well, in the case of Rem, I was at least able to forgive her because it was a giant misunderstanding and she was, in the end, only trying to protect other people (not only the mansion and her sister, but also pretty much all of Arlam village), and she’s a generally selfless person (not only towards Subaru) and pretty much went through Karmic redemption with that horrific death of her own…And I also don’t blame Emilia for the fight they had (another misunderstanding, plus Emilia being unable to read between the lines of what she means to him), but yeah, even with all that I still find it incredibly frustrating that there is this overall vibe of Subaru being some kind of a “lowlife”. I even find it kind of sucky that he has Shadow magic affinity (OBVIOUSLY because of Satella…), when in my opinion he’d be FAR more suited for Light magic. I mean, at heart he is a happy guy, a funny guy, an easygoing guy who just wants everyone to be safe and happy, and to have a good time. Shadows have nothing to do with him, all of that is only because of Satella. And once again I am TERRIBLY annoyed at the situation with his parents. Why Nagatsuki gotta do us like that?! Unfair. Unacceptable. The only TRUE happy ending that I see would be Emilia, Rem, Subaru and his parents all being happily together (and of course, Emilia would be Queen, because that’s what the two of them want). That’s the kind of quality content I’d pay good money to see.

          But it looks like we’re in for at least another 3475 rounds of suffering, instead…
          Sigh.

          Like

          1. Definitely and I think your figure is accurate. Did you read the chapters from Arc 6? If not, well… I don’t know what’s happening, but the pattern keeps repeating. And yes, I totally agree that the thing with his parents was fucked up. It’s almost as if the author is saying his parents don’t matter now that Barusu has settled his “issues” with them, even though it has been hinted that it didn’t actually happen, as it was all only in his mind as part of the trials. For me, being separated from such wonderful parents like that would be far more traumatizing than the alternate futures he sees in the second trial. It’s as if he has accepted he’ll never see his parents again (he says that at one point) and just forgotten about them.

            Like

          2. Man. Being selfless and being abusive of oneself are not the same thing. Rem isn’t selfless. Rem just wanted to protect Ram’s happiness and jumped to stupid conclusions. Even Subaru himself aknowledges it in V.3. Rem just wanted to protect Ram selfishly. That is not selflessness.

            Like

        2. Alexandre, YES, that’s EXACTLY what bothers me so much with the whole parents thing! How tf are we just going to forget about them! It’s a hard no from me. No, I’m not reading ahead, but I have read some spoilers from the Wikia, in an attempt to soften the blow once I actually read about it happening. Hasn’t really worked…hah. By the way, Alexandre, do you have Skype or Discord or facebook or something? I’d quite love to continue talking to you, but I feel like I am clogging up the comments, heheh!

          Like

          1. Oh, my Skype is alexandresobreira3. I don’t have a Discord account, and my Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/alexandresobreira
            Thanks! I’d love to continue chatting with you, it’s been a real pleasure, and even though I must say this is the nicest and most civilized discussion thread I’ve ever participated in (thanks, Chicken fans!… wait… that didn’t sound so good, did it?), it IS getting a little cluttered here. Feel free to contact me any time and if I don’t answer, I’m either out or sleeping, because I work at home.

            Like

          2. Still waiting moderation to my reply (which was positive, of course). It seems there’s some problem with posting personal contact information here. Do you have any other idea on how we can exchange contact info?

            Like

          3. same fb name for me i could just type my thoughts n delete them half of the responses i get here seems from pl who do not really understand at all of what is going on.

            Like

  18. They’re right, but how can they say Subaru isn’t at least trying to change? He’s been attempting to control his emotions since the end of arc 3; he’s been commended on doing so multiple times in these past 77 chapters. It’s only when he’s pushed to extreme lengths, such as in cases like these, that he breaks down into lashing out at those around him.

    That being said Minerva is right about his attitude being pretty fucked up. He’s essentially using other peoples’ injustices as an excuse to treat them like something less than human. He cares about those he cares about, but he has no respect for the existence of those of who oppose him; even if they’re only trying to do the best they can for their own interests, just as he is. He is extremely capable of piecing together logical nuance, but has no interest in understanding moral nuance. In that way he is definitely like a child. The only exception I can really think of is Garfiel, but that’s only because Garfs actions keep jumping back and forth between being unforgivable and invaluable.

    It’s kind of funny, because there’s actually a parallel between how Subaru treats people and how people on the internet (and in American politics(and a bunch of other examples too)) treat people: they pick a tribe and anyone on the outside is the evil inhuman force that must be discredited and destroyed at all costs. Fuck the idea of understanding them or where they’re coming from. Fuck having any ounce of compassion for them or the circumstances that made them the way they are (which, ironically, Subaru asks for when trying to absolve himself even though he’s unwilling to do it for anybody else) all that matter are his goals and the people that don’t step on his toes.

    That being said it’s obvious his heart is in the right place. He wants to grow, he wants to change, and he’s doing it; albeit slowly. I still love his character and I’m still rooting for him in the end. I’m so glad there’s so much left to this story because this shit is fucking great.

    Also I hope there really is more to Echidona than Subaru’s evaluation. Even if she was being manipulative she still has been one of my favorite characters so far.

    Like

    1. dona actually way way way more manipulative then people are giving her credit for but that will be explained in a bit n everyone is going to hate roshit a bit more. seriously its messed up. its kinda been foreshadowed n i am honestly surprised no one has figured it out.

      Like

  19. Its ironic Subaru hate satalla for the RBD but without it he would be able to save the ones he loves

    I have also been thinking what if I love you is The only work satalla is able to mention hoping someone will understand but I guess we will see in the next chapter

    Like

  20. i must say re zero cant come fast enough… to feed to need i have been using google trans must say your tran makes way more sense

    Like

  21. Oh, I love it when Subaru loses his temper and stands his ground, baring his scars and giving people a gimps of anguish and darkness inside him.
    Like, really, the F* do they know to judge him?

    Like

    1. yeah n i would not want to be criticized by the witches either beings that their very existence has caused much suffering and do not care at all. gluttony creating mabeast that still plague the world >has not done a damn thing to help the ones she screwed over but thinks she can call sub a child? all of them have created problems but refuse to clean up their mess whats more childish then that?

      Like

  22. Alexandre, hmm, I’m not entirely sure…Maybe we can ask our lord and savior Mr. Chicken how to proceed? Or, you could drop him an e-mail to be able to edit the live drafts (for mistakes, better wording and such). I just got approved yesterday and I think there’s a chat function in the live draft, maybe we could swap contacts there? (P.S. I lowkey feel like Subaru trying to solve a roadblock, lol)

    Like

    1. I agree and have just send a message to The Holy Chicken on his Patreon page asking how we should proceed. Now, let’s wait for either the moderator releasing my message so you can see it or Chicken helping us with his Holy Admin Powers. XD

      Like

    2. Ps.: on second thoughts, you can search for my name, Alexandre Sobreira Martins, on Google and you’ll get my profile and contact info.On a link saying Alexandre Sobreira Martins – Busca Tradutor Juramentado, you’ll find them.

      Like

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